My thanks to my pal Mike Pascale for the toothsome transformation of the original art.
Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Ernesto R. Garcia from the story “You’re Fired, Darling” in Career Girl Romances #45, June 1968. Charlton. Original comic is not online.
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Human man and vampire woman are cheek to cheek. She has vampire teeth and a bit of blood dripping from her mouth. He has his eyes closed and there are two bite marks on his neck that are bleeding slightly.
MAN: Do you know what I love about you?
VAMPIRE WOMAN: Sure! my great taste in men!
1968 Art: Art by Ernesto R. Garcia Art Restoration: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Vampirization: Mike Pascale
Questionable Taste: John Lustig
CH.CareerGirlR45.30.4.6.DP.lkHalloween13
DJP.lk18
New-Romance-16.3_3-Sekowsky
MAN: Do you know what I love about you?
VAMPIRE WOMAN: Sure! my great taste in men!
1968 Art: Art by Ernesto R. Garcia Art Restoration: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Vampirization: Mike Pascale
Questionable Taste: John Lustig
CH.CareerGirlR45.30.4.6.DP.lkHalloween13
DJP.lk18
New-Romance-16.3_3-Sekowsky
Wink if you’re a manipulative narcissist!
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What Mike might be thinking right now:
-Gee, her earwax smells terrific!
-She’s so much easier to look at when my eyes are closed.
-Her head is so spongy and bulbous! It’s like reclining on a Mrs. Potato Head.
-Judging by the size of that blister on her upper lip, she doesn’t just have Oral Herpes. She owns Oral Herpes.
-I wonder if now is a good time to tell her my ex wife got my penis in the divorce.
-I wonder if now is a good time to tell her about my overpowering compulsion to hatchet murder my sexual partners.
-I wonder if now is a good time to tell her I’m her long lost brother. Well. Let’s just see how good the sex is first.
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Who is she talking to? Or winking at? I wasn’t born until two years after this was published. So it wasn’t me.
Dave? Rex? PKM? Is she winking at you? Can you tell her to stop? It’s kind of freaking me out.
Sorry Jams, I tried, but like my last girlfriend, she won’t stop… but if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she’s winking, I think her glass eye just fell out and she’s shy about the socket.
She’s a goer. Know what I mean?
A nods as good as a wink to a blind bat. Nudge, Nudge, say no more.
http://www.cardinalfang.net/episodes/season_one/nudge_nudge.html
Unless that wink goes into the future it wasn’t me!
It’s a commercial for Miller Lite Blood as done by a vampire.
Less Filling – Tastes Great!
The Miller Lite commercial is now 50 years old. Sigh…
Jesus! Did someone punch her in the mouth!?! I’ve seen swollen lips before, but… HOLY CRAP!!!
Lady, the only way you could call those “bee stung lips” would be if that bee was the size of a B-52!
I guess she missed the memo that you’re only supposed to get a lip plumping injections only once! It’s like someone hooked her up to a bicycle pump and her lips look like an old worn-out inner tube that’s about to blow!
It’s the wrong time of year to tell your girlfriend, “YOU SUCK!”