So…fake it ’til you make it?
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Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by John Tartaglione from “My Confidence Man” in First Kiss #5, 1958. Charlton. The story begins on Page 13.
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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman looking very serious and somewhat depressed together.
MAN: it’s okay! I’ve been faking my orgasms too!
1958 Art: John Tartaglione Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Orgasmic Gag: John Lustig
5.3.4.4.HC.DP.lk16
MAN: it’s okay! I’ve been faking my orgasms too!
1958 Art: John Tartaglione Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Orgasmic Gag: John Lustig
5.3.4.4.HC.DP.lk16
“Don’t you dare Dick Burris-”
“Hey! I don’t even know who Burris is, much less whether I’d want to go that far with him!”
______________________________________________
“Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any!”
“I’m selling hot, sweaty, monkey sex.”
“…”
“…”
“Do you finance high volume orders?”
“No. But I do offer lay away plans.”
_____________________________________________
“Are you sure, sugar?”
“Don’t patronize me. I’m not your sugar.”
“My apologies. Are you confident, cumquat?”
“That’s better.”
____________________________________________
If you think she does a sudden 180 degree turn between panels 1 and 2, that’s because:
-They’re roleplaying. He’s the skeevy guy who’s exactly like himself. She’s pretending to have some self worth.
She’s not very good at pretending she has that though.
-She was looking at his face when she said “Don’t Dick. Please…”
And then she looked down, saw his crotch, and said “Darling!”
– She goes weak in the knees when a guy smells her hair like he is in Panel 2. And with his schnoz…Ohhh. That’s some good sniffin’.
_______________________________________________________
In Panel 3, he’s checking her with a pulse. I mean…she looks lifelike. But she doesn’t act lifelike.
_______________________________________________________
Sound effects for Panel 4
SPLORCH!
Zubbazubbazubba
Ker-plosh!
Gaaagaaagaaaagaaagaaagaaa!
Eee-Aww! Eee-Aww! Eee-Aww!
Thought Balloons for Panel 4
Him: Hey wait! Now that Sugar Darling is pressed against me, I can tell! She’s a girl! I’ve been bamboozled!
Her: I’m so glad I painted my nails to match his hair color…
Her: Please let there be some lice in his hairline! I’m simply famished!
Either of them: Mmmm. That’s good tonsils.
Panel 1 vs Panel 2. Initially I thought panel 1 was the mother of the girl in panel 2.
Some interesting punctuation in Panel 2. Reminds me of the Japanese technical manuals/procedures translated into English.
Kind of like: “Don’t! Stop!” vs. “Don’t stop!”