Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Girl Meets Boy!” in First Kiss #11, Nov. 1959. Published by Charlton. The story begins on Page 3.
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↓ Transcript
MAN: No, I’ve never been married!
WOMAN: I can fix that!
1959 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Married and Fixed: John Lustig
DJP.lk420_600dpi_NoFlare
WOMAN: I can fix that!
1959 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Married and Fixed: John Lustig
DJP.lk420_600dpi_NoFlare
Wait, wait, wait…who did he come with? And did he clean off her shoes afterwards?
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“Now that I met you, I’m glad I came!..
…I needed to meet an ugly chick to cool me down after all the hotties I met in the parking lot!”
…Now I have a hostage for when the cops finish tracing the signal from my ankle bracelet!”
…Seeing me dancing with you is gonna make my husband so jelly!”
…Spending time with you should meet at least some of my community service requirement!”
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“Thank You, David!..
…Did my facial expression seem sincere when I said that? No? Let me try again. Thank. You. David! How about that time? Hmmm. Maybe if I imagine being grateful to someone who isn’t a narcissistic jerk.”
…Having people see me dancing with you should help settle some of those “are you sure she’s not…ya know…’that’ way” rumors that have been going around.”
…Because in the years to come, when I look back at my life and think “at what point did things go so horribly wrong”, I’ll think back to this moment and say to myself, “Yeah. Right there. That was when.” ”
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A scene from the documentary, “Mating Rituals of the Suburban Dweeb”
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Girl Meets Boy! Girl Kills Boy! Girl Eats Boy! Girl Goes On Oprah to Discuss Her New Keto Diet!
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Wow. Funny stuff, Jams. But that diet? Keto diets are so-o-o 2019!
You know, I know I’m seriously behind the times, but I STILL don’t know what the heck a Keto Diet is, much less why it feels it would need to diet.
When she says she can “fix” it, it seems more of a veterinarian kind of “fix”.
I don’t care what kind of “fix” it is… I just want to see that dork with a cone around his neck!
“What cone? Oh, you mean THIS cone?”
I remember a woman co-worker saying that she “fixed” her first husband and now he’s happily married to someone else. I cautioned that she should give him some time to screw it up and sure enough, he did.
Mind you, I’m not saying that a woman can’t give a man some tools and motivation to fix himself. Just bear in mind that it can be a decades long project.
I thought a male being fixed involved becoming a eunuch.
Yes. Well, that or “unique”. I get them mixed up.