Oh, My Toes!

Art by Bill Ward from "I Danced with Heartbreak" from Diary Loves #9, 1951.

Art by Bill Ward from “I Danced with Heartbreak” from Diary Loves #9, 1951.

Seriously, Claire. Sit down and soak your feet. And wear some flats next time. Although…they are sorta sexy. Not that I (or any men) care about that sort of thing.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

Dance with Me?

Art by Bill Ward from "I Danced with Heartbreak" in Diary Loves #9.

Art by Bill Ward from “I Danced with Heartbreak” in Diary Loves #9.

I charge by the dance.

—$5 for a foxtrot.

—$10 for a boogie woogie.

—$200 for private “ballroom” dancing—on your lap.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

No More One-Arm Joints for Me

Art by Alice Kirkpatrick & Bill Ward from Diary Loves #5, 1950.

Art by Alice Kirkpatrick & Bill Ward from Diary Loves #5, 1950.

The secret to eating at five-star restaurants? Dating men who can afford it!

So I now rate all men on a scale of one to five.

One Star: Ugh! Expects me to pay for everything—when he’s not at my placing mooching free meals.

Two Stars: Wants to split the bill with me at Arby’s.

Three Stars: Offers to pay, but only dines out when he has a coupon. Or when it’s his birthday and he can get a free meal at Denny’s.

Four Stars: Takes me to restaurants (with real cloth napkins!) that don’t give me food poisoning—most of the time.

Five Stars: Five-star restaurants? Wine bottles with real corks? Fancy condom dispensers in the Ladies Room? I’m yours!

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

The Most Boring Swinger’s Party of All Time!

Art by John Tartaglione from "Dear Jilted" in Brides in Love #8, 1958.

Art by John Tartaglione from “Dear Jilted” in Brides in Love #8, 1958.

Welcome to “the Most Boring Swinger’s Party of All Time!”

The schedule:

8-9 p.m.: Polite conversation about the weather.

9-10 p.m.: Tell a slightly dirty joke. Then apologize to your date. Apologize again. Keep apologizing—because really, it wasn’t that funny!

10-midnight: Dancing. Hands above the waist, young man!

12-12:30 a.m.: Thank the host and say goodbye. Then flee!!!

12:30-12:33 a.m.: Get in your car, buckle up and give your date a quick kiss. Then maybe another one.

12:33-12:34 a.m.: Sex. Orgasm optional.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

Teach My Husband, Please!

Art by Bill Ward from Diary Loves #9, 1951.

Art by Bill Ward from Diary Loves #9, 1951.

Please teach my husband the proper moves. I don’t want him making any awkward, painful mistakes during our honeymoon. And, while you’re at it, teach him to dance too!

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.