↓ Transcript
SCENE: Photo of Charlie Chaplin, Edna Purviance, and Leo White. Chaplin and White (who looks a bit like Salivdor Dali) are glaring at each other with Edna in the middle.

CAPTION: When manly men meet...
The competition to be the alpha male is intense. Is brain power the winning factor? Big muscles? The size of a man’s...uh, hands? No! It’s who has the best facial hair!

LEO: No, me!
EDNA (thinking): Frankly, I don’t care...as long as it isn’t me!

(L to R): Charlie Chaplin, Edna Purviance and Leo White in A Jitney Elopement, 1915.
Slightly Hairy, Always Harried: John Lustig