Almost Perfect

I’ve rewritten this gag several times over the years. I think I finally got it right, but I do miss one of the gags I cut. In the original version, the woman also rented the guy’s favorite movie: The Three Stooges Meet the 50-Foot Woman from Uranus!

The things I do for art…

↓ Transcript
WOMAN (to man): For your birthday, I filled the pool with beer...and invited all your pals over for poker and porn!

MAN: Yeah! You left the toilet seat down again!


  1. HAHAHAHA, This is great! I could see hip girlfriends and wifes buying this card for their boyfriend or husband! I look at the cards in the stores and walk away with something unfunny. It was supposed to be funny, but isn’t. And I buy it out of desperation. I can’t wait till I see your cards in Hallmark!

  2. You are sick, John. Really sick.
    But in a good way that has nothing to do with pigs.

  3. Actually, EWP, I’m sick, really sick in a bad way with a *&^% cold. But I appreciate the thought a lot!


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