Just Inject the Caffeine Directly into My Veins

Living in Seattle, I should be ashamed of this. But here’s the shocking, tabloid-worthy truth: I don’t drink coffee.

Never have. And it’s too bad. ‘Cause I hear wonderful things about the power of Demon Caffeine.

I’m not one of those people who spring out of bed at the break of day–a song on my lips–ready to make the world a better place.

If I drank coffee, though, maybe I’d be…perky. Maybe I’d write faster. Maybe I’d be a better person. Maybe I’d have even have come up with a clever way to end this.

But I don’t drink coffee. So I didn’t.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman with her head down, her eyes closed and her hand to her brow.

WOMAN: Don’t say anything! Just...bring me coffee!

Virgin Values

Virginity: The gift that keeps on not giving.

Also funny in German!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Two women talking. One is holding a book.

WOMAN WITH BOOK: It says boys prefer girls who are virgins!

WOMAN WITHOUT BOOK: Then I’ll stay a virgin forever!


Thanksgiving Right Now!

I’m thankful almost beyond words to be home from the Portland Comic Book Show. (Great convention, but lousy weather the next day.)

It was a treacherous 11-hour drive to Seattle (normally takes three!) through a snow storm with 70 mph wind gusts and conditions that made driving two miles-per-hour seem like speeding.

I’m especially thankful to my sister and brother-in-law (Lisa and Richard Hernandez.) Rich drove the whole way (except for a scary 15 minutes–more about that another time.)

When it proved impossible to make it all the way to home to Shelagh in North Seattle, Lisa and Rich put me up for two days at their home on Mercer Island.

So–thankful? You bet.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman embracing in a kitchen.

WOMAN: Let’s give thanks now...
before your family shows up!

Mother Doesn’t Know Best

Listen to your mom. Hasn’t she suffered enough?

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A crying woman.

WOMAN: I thought he was perfect...‘til my
mom said she liked him!


Making Do…Until the Economy Improves

The benefits of a bad economy–you’re still attractive to women. Well, some women.

Hmm. I originally had the woman say the line (see original version below), but the consensus from fans has been that it’s funnier if the guy says the line. So I’ve changed it. The guy is now the cad!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman hugging.

WOMAN: I guess you’ll do…until I can afford better!

Inked, enhanced and colored by Allen Freeman