People Will Talk

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story "The Gay Deception" in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “The Gay Deception” in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

It depends on your definition of “acquainted.”

Sure, Lola and I have had mind-blowing sex several times a day—in her bed (too hard), your parents’s bed (too soft), and your bed (just right!) Plus several motels, two cabs and the Mayor’s desk at City Hall.

But, other than that, I hardly know her.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

Don’t Shout

Artist unknown. Art from the story "Censored" in ALL-TRUE ROMANCE #2, 1951.

Artist unknown. From the story “Censored”
in ALL-TRUE ROMANCE #2, 1951.

A gentleman never shouts before sex. During sex, it’s okay to raise your voice a little—especially if you’re praying, “Oh, my God!”

Of course, you’re welcome to moan discreetly—at the end.

Afterwards, feel free to sob uncontrollably—but please use your indoor voice!

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

Contest Winners

Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story "Coffee and...a Kiss, Darling!" in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story “Coffee and…a Kiss, Darling!” in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

I asked my readers to come up funny comments to go with this art. And…wow! You folks came through with some great zingers.

I received submissions here on this website, my personal Facebook page and my Last Kiss FB page. (Thanks, everyone!)

I had a hard time choosing. So we ended up with a three-way tie for top honors—plus some fun honorable mentions. Congratulations, everyone!

The Winners

You have the last doughnut dear, that is if you think you can still fit in those pants afterward.

—Submitted by JVR

Man: You said you liked my buns, so here, have one on me.
Woman: Now I’m wondering about your cannoli!

—Submitted by Still Only 25 Cents

I enjoyed life… once! And look where it got me! A starring role in Last Kiss!

—Submitted by Korey Watkins

Honorable Mentions

Keep this doughnut chained to your neck, to remember me by.

—Submitted by Allen Gladfelter

WOMAN: Is this how you always pick up prostitutes…?

—Submitted by Matthew Fillbach

Oh, and can you make my coffee look like a muffin?

—Submitted by Allen Freeman

Well, at least eat this hockey puck for my amusement. Guy’s gotta have fun somehow.

—Submitted by Matthew Z. Wood

You expect me to put out for a donut..You better bring a whole lot more for this booty!

—Submitted by Eric Fur

Girl: “Better make that coffee to go. My pimp hates it when I’m late.”

—Submitted by Ed Bertoli

If I could afford to go out dancing, you think I’d be having an English muffin for din-din?

—Submitted by Ken Lafex

Give this magic crumpet to the one you love and he (or she) will swoon, bow down to your feet and won’t charge you more then 5% over retail after a $25 purchase on select items, restrictions apply. See bottom of crumpet for details and the number of your local Poison Control Center… just in-case.

—Submitted by “My Alter Ego”

 

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

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How to Have a Cheap Wedding

Artist unknown. Art from the story "Censored" in ALL TRUE ROMANCE #2, 1951.

Artist unknown. Art from the story “Censored” in ALL TRUE ROMANCE #2, 1951.

You’ve invited a gazillion guests. But the catering budget for your wedding is only $67.95. The best way to make the food last is to...

—Have the police arrest most of the guests. (Start with the groom’s family. Those cheap SOBs give lousy gifts!)

—Explain that the food was prepared by terrorists. (The bomb squad has been called in.)

—Announce that you cooked everything yourself. You were only a little drunk at the time. And you’re almost sure you didn’t drop a bottle of poison in the soup. Well, at least not a whole bottle.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.

New Last Kiss Contest

Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story "Coffee and...a Kiss, Darling!" in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story “Coffee and…a Kiss, Darling!” in FIRST KISS #8, 1959.

Are you feeling funny? If so, I’m looking for a funny comment or a funny bit of additional dialogue from either character. Comment below. I’ll be post the winner on Oct. 22.

No prizes except my thanks and eternal world-wide reference for your wit!

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October 23rd, 2014

I See Nothing

Meanwhile, back in 1959…
See the original 1959 art and dialogue for today’s Last Kiss webcomic here.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man with his back turned.

MAN: Honey, I didn’t see anything! And, when I turn around, I better not see it again!

Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman

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