Momma’s Delicate Condition

Momma’s Delicate Condition

by | Feb 4, 2010 | Uncategorized

Run!!!!

I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:

Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.

She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.

In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio.  She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.  (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
(more…)

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.

MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!

DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!

Watta Shame!

Watta Shame!

by | Jan 19, 2010 | Uncategorized

Let’s look for it in the back of my car tonight…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Two students studying during a class.

WOMAN: Gosh! I lost my sense of shame! Wanna help me look for it?

MAN: Sure…as long as we don’t find it!

Can’t Wait

Can’t Wait

by | Dec 28, 2009 | Uncategorized

Patience is a virtue…if you can afford to wait for it.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.

↓ Transcript
MOM (to grown daughter): In my day, good girls waited to have sex!

DAUGHTER: I waited...10 minutes once! Worst date I ever had!

Gravity Got You Down?

Gravity Got You Down?

by | Nov 22, 2009 | Uncategorized

I can’t take full credit (or blame) for today’s comic. The heavy boobs gag was suggested by my wife (Shelagh.) I noodled with the wording a bit and added the line from the helpful guy in the background, but the basic, uh…thrust of the gag is all hers.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman with her eyes closed and her head and arms resting on a desk. A man walks through a doorway in the background.

WOMAN: Gravity attack! My boobs are...so heavy! Need help…fast!

MAN (singing): Here I come to save the day!