Family (Sorta) Planning!
It’s not like it’s a big commitment or anything…
↓ Transcript
WOMAN: I misplaced my dog! And my guppies flushed themselves down the drain!
WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!
WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!
Momma’s Delicate Condition
Run!!!!
I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:
Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.
She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.
In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio. She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
(more…)
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!
Can’t Wait
Patience is a virtue…if you can afford to wait for it.
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.
↓ Transcript
MOM (to grown daughter): In my day, good girls waited to have sex!
DAUGHTER: I waited...10 minutes once! Worst date I ever had!
DAUGHTER: I waited...10 minutes once! Worst date I ever had!
Freudian Sip
Do I need to explain that this is just a joke? And that no babies, moms, or imaginary animals were harmed, traumatized or sexualized in the making of this comic? No? Good!
This comic is now available in German.
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Smiling mom with smiling baby.
MOM: Guess what? It's time to breast feed!
BABY: Oedipus complex by damned! I'm in love!
MOM: Guess what? It's time to breast feed!
BABY: Oedipus complex by damned! I'm in love!
Sex Ed Pays Off
Family pride is a beautiful thing!
Also funny (maybe funnier) in German.
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young woman smiles as she talks to her dad.
WOMAN: Good news, Dad! I broke mom’s record! I’ve been
in college a full week! And I’m still not pregnant!
WOMAN: Good news, Dad! I broke mom’s record! I’ve been
in college a full week! And I’m still not pregnant!
