Other fun customs from around the world…
—In Upper Crustovia it’s considered bad manners to spit in someone’s drink — while they’re looking.
—In Lower Crustovia it’s considered bad manners to knife someone in the back while they’re spitting in someone’s drink — unless it’s your drink.
—In Still Lower Crustovia it’s considered bad manners to not compliment someone on their knife wounds.
SCENE: A man and three women are sitting around a dinner table.
SOUND (very loud): F-A-A-A-A-R-T
MAN: …and in my country that’s how we compliment the cook!
CREDITS: Art by Vince Colletta Studio, Color by Allen Freeman
I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:
Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.
She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.
In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio. She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
SCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!