A new tale of torrid lust Tony Isabella & Allen Freeman!
Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story “Lee Dalton’s Guidebook ‘Movie Date’” from First Kiss #2, Feb. 1958. Published by Charlton. This one-pager is on Page 33.
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↓ Transcript
CAPTION: When adult children walk in on their parents...
MAN #1: Just close your eyes and back out slowly.
WOMAN: I never want to open my eyes again.
MAN #2: Was that Aunt Edna underneath them?
CAPTION: Today’s moral: Always knock!
1958 Art: Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia Color: Allen Freeman
Writer: Tony Isabella
2.5.1.3Sad_Flat
MAN #1: Just close your eyes and back out slowly.
WOMAN: I never want to open my eyes again.
MAN #2: Was that Aunt Edna underneath them?
CAPTION: Today’s moral: Always knock!
1958 Art: Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia Color: Allen Freeman
Writer: Tony Isabella
2.5.1.3Sad_Flat
If an usher is present, follow him down the aisle quietly…
…if he hears you before you can slit his throat, he’s sure to raise an alarm!
…unless his ass isn’t all that great to look at. Then feel free to make conversation with your date.
…Remember: ushers hunt by sound. You’re only safe while you’re quiet and in his blind spot.
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He took her to a porn theater swank enough to have ushers? Well didn’t she just meet Mr. Right!
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Edna was so impressed with how professional the usher was. Though she didn’t really understand why he spent the whole movie seated on her date’s lap.
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Rodger was so happy! He had never heard of the movies on the double feature, “Pink Flamingos” and “A Serbian Film”, before. But he was sure they would make for a great first date!
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What the Usher is thinking…
…”Here’s hoping they don’t have children.”
…”I’m so happy I got that Masters in Communication. Really.”
…”Now which one of them should I have sex with after the lights go down?”
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Let’s hear it for ushers! Yah!
And here I thought the usher was a Cultural Anthropology Major doing field research.
Revision reminds me of a line from “Modern Family”.
Having opened the door to their parents bedroom (to give them a surprise breakfast in bed) at the wrong moment Luke Dunphy said, “Whatever it was, it looked like dad was winning.”
Edna!!!!! I’m not mad, but I am VERY disappointed!
Me: Oh…. f-ing Edna!!!
Edna: you got that right!
Did she have to pay her Escort?
“… While your escort follows behind you…”
– Oh No, No, No, No… if I were her, I’d be thinking “if I paid for the escort, the escort is going to be the cannon (usher?) fodder!”
– Oh wait! You mean that’s an escort? And here I was thinking is was a sentient terrible looking carpet!
– Is it just me or is that usher just “Postman Pat” moonlighting?
Did girls in 1958 really need Lee Dalton to tell them what to do on a movie date?