The Scariest Halloween Movie Of All

Boo!

I just got back from seeing a truly rotten zombie movie. (Rotten in a good way, of course, as all zombie movies should be.)

Apparently the secret to enjoying a truly rotten zombie movie (in this case “The Children” from 1980) is to have a really stiff drink and to watch it with a bunch of other people who have really stiff drinks in a movie theater rented out for the evening.

It helps greatly if the zombies are cute radioactive children who literally hug people to death. (Sizzle. Argggh!)

Audience participation is another plus. Best audience commentary of the night: “Hugs! Not drugs!”

Runner up: “You just shot a dead dog.”

My thanks to my pal Mark Rahner and film critic Robert Horton for hosting a truly rotten evening. By the way, the name of their wild west zombie comic book is…”Rotten.” And, yes, it’s “rotten” in a good way too.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Exterior of a passenger jet in flight.

CAPTION: Just in time for Halloween! A movie so scary, you’ll pee in your seat! Honest...

CAPTION: “Cross My Legs...and hope to die!”

VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: The restrooms are out of order? All of them?

VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: B-b-but I‘m on a liquid diet!

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