No, wearing a scarf doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you…uh, want to be a cowboy. That’s it. I mean–John Wayne wore scarves…or at least bandanas. Manly bandanas! Spit-in-your-eye, tough-guy bandanas!

So there you go! If you’re not wearing a bandana chances are…you’re gay!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man and a woman--both wearing scarves--kiss.

BOTH (thinking) There! This proves I’m not gay!