I thought you were my friend. <Sniff!> But if you don’t like me on Facebook–where bosom buddies are only a mouse click away–are we really friends?
Oh, crud! Why are you putting me through this? Other people pretend to like me. Why not you too?
WOMAN: Sure! I’ll drive you to the hospital...if I ever get off facebook! ’Til then,
try to stop bleeding so much!