Operators are standing by! Call now and hire us…before your he does!
The Department of Homeland Romances!
The only dating service that offers...
--Extensive background checks...going back to birth! And beyond!
--Electronic surveillance...to find out if he's right for you!
--Misinformation! Don't bother lying to impress him! We'll do it for you!
--Torture! We'll fine out how he really feels about you...plus what makes him cry like a little girl!
We guarantee if you're not satisfied...there's something wrong with you!