The Problem of Sleeping with Men

The Problem of Sleeping with Men

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman talking to another woman.

WOMAN: Oh, I never sleep with men! They keep me awake all night!

Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani

Goodnight! Watta Kiss!

Goodnight! Watta Kiss!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Girl and guy kissing:

GIRL: A goodnight kiss? Sure! We can try! But...I usually end up kissing good morning instead!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

No Substitutes for Sex

No Substitutes for Sex

Okay. Here’s the Jack Nicholson version of “No Substitutions.”

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man holding a menu as a waitress looks on.

MAN: I'll take the Passion Plate Special! Hold the matrimony and give me kinky sex instead!

WAITRESS: No substitutions!

Birthday Sex

Birthday Sex

↓ Transcript
WOMAN (thinking): Hmm! His
birthday is coming up! What can I get him? It can't be sex! We did that last year!

Sexual Time Warp

Sexual Time Warp

If someone has a spare time machine, please contact me. Name your price. Money isn’t a problem.

I’ll gladly pay you—Tuesday. I just won’t say which Tuesday.

Come to think of it, I’ve probably already traveled back in time and paid you. So don’t delay…because you’re already late.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Still a virgin? Sure…if someone invents a time machine!

Art by Vince Colletta