Obviously, these guys are living in a state of denial. Possibly California.
Are you unfazed by rejection and occasional gunfire? Do you collect restraining orders as a hobby? Are you saving your virginity until your true love admits that you exist?
Then you may be afflicted with the dreaded “Pepe Le Pew Syndrome!”
If so, please take a strong dose of reality and look out for skunks.
Other questions you don’t have to answer…
–Are you just happy to see me or is that a single-shot, 40-mm grenade launcher in your pocket?
–If God is your copilot, who are the flight attendants and why haven’t they brought us drinks by now?
–Are you sure the sky is blue? Really? You think that’s blue? Have you ever considered that “blue” might just be what “they” want you to think it is?
–Do you feel “blue” now? Are you sure you don’t feel red instead?
I’m hoping for tails–for both their sakes!
Years ago, a gay fan encouraged me to write some gay Last Kiss gags. Since I’m straight, I had to really think about what it meant to be gay. Not the physical stuff. The emotional.
I quickly realized that the whole idea of people choosing to be gay was nonsense. First of all, sexual urges are pretty much hard-wired into people. I didn’t choose to be attracted to women (although I sure encouraged women to be attracted to me.) It was just this overwhelming attraction that blindsided me at puberty.
So for someone to “choose” against those urges–and to buck everything in our society (plus parents) that expected us to team up with the opposite sex–well, that would be incredibly difficult. Therefore, being gay had to be tough. So…it takes a “real man” to be gay. Unless, of course, you’re a “real woman.”
