In the First Grade, I had my first crush on a girl. It was tough losing her when I switched schools for the Second Grade. But I quickly recovered and soon had a new friend who wore a dress. (Yes, another girl!)

By the Third Grade, though, I was the leader of a “gang” of seven-year-old thugs. (I was tough too. I “smoked” candy cigarettes. Sometimes a pack a day.)

Of course, we were all way too cool to hang out with girls!

Girls remained icky for years. But then I grew up and reached the Sixth Grade. Then girls became…confusing. Come to think of it, they still are. Lucky me!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A confused and flustered young woman looks at a young man.

WOMAN: Life was so much simpler when I thought boys were icky!