5 Comments

1. 

   fine jams and jellies since 1982 on July 18, 2023 at 10:12 pm

   And as the sun set over the lake, Veronica finally heard those words she’d been waiting to hear all her life…

   “Gee! Your hair smells terrific!”
   _____________________________________________________________

   And as the sun set over the lake, Veronica finally heard those words she’d been waiting to hear all her life…

   “So you know…that’s not a log you’re sitting on. And yes, I’m happy to see you.”
   _____________________________________________________________

   And as Veronica basked in the glow, listening to Timmy’s heart beat, she thought to herself,

   “Gosh, I’m so glad we came up here to Camp Crystal Lake to make love. Who cares about all those stories of campers and horny teens going missing or being found brutally mutilated. I bet that’s just gossip. Huh? What was that moving through the undergrowth? Looked large. And I thought I saw the glint of metal. Must have been a bear who found a chainsaw someone left lying around. Silly bear. What are you gonna do with a chain saw? He he he. Bears don’t have opposable thumbs. Anyway. Back to wondering if Timmy is man enough for round two-

   “Huh? Now I hear a chainsaw. How did that bear get a chainsaw working? Oh well. I’m sure it has nothing to do with me, even though the roaring of the chainsaw is getting closer. Much closer.

   “On I’m so in love. And that means everything will work out great!”
   ____________________________________________________________

   Veronica didn’t understand why everyone in the tattoo parlor laughed when she asked if they could just put the “Nicholas Alascia” tat on the sleeve of her sweater instead of directly on her arm. But since the tattooist charged her double, it must be okay.
   ____________________________________________________________

   No one had told Timmy exactly where a woman’s sexual organs were located. Only that there was some hair nearby. So…
   ____________________________________________________________

   Reply
   • 

     Dave Dell on July 19, 2023 at 4:35 am

     It’s a good thing bears don’t have opposable thumbs. They’re sneaky smart and quite capable as it is.

     Here’s a great 7 minutes by the man, nay, the prophet of danger inherent in beardom, Steven Colbert.

     https://www.cc.com/video/f0uh68/the-colbert-report-threatdown-all-bear-edition

     Reply
     • 

       Rex on July 19, 2023 at 1:14 pm

       Colbert has a good take on it. Also check out Mike Birgbiglia’s bit on relationships and bears.

       Reply
2. 

   Rex on July 19, 2023 at 1:14 pm

   So no one is going to comment about sliding into home?

   Too easy?

   Reply
   • 

     Dave Dell on July 19, 2023 at 5:43 pm

     An ‘inside the park’ home run?

     Reply