Art by Bill Ward from “I Danced with Heartbreak” in Diary Loves #9.
I charge by the dance.
—$5 for a foxtrot.
—$10 for a boogie woogie.
—$200 for private “ballroom” dancing—on your lap.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
Art by Alice Kirkpatrick & Bill Ward from Diary Loves #5, 1950.
The secret to eating at five-star restaurants? Dating men who can afford it!
So I now rate all men on a scale of one to five.
One Star: Ugh! Expects me to pay for everything—when he’s not at my placing mooching free meals.
Two Stars: Wants to split the bill with me at Arby’s.
Three Stars: Offers to pay, but only dines out when he has a coupon. Or when it’s his birthday and he can get a free meal at Denny’s.
Four Stars: Takes me to restaurants (with real cloth napkins!) that don’t give me food poisoning—most of the time.
Five Stars: Five-star restaurants? Wine bottles with real corks? Fancy condom dispensers in the Ladies Room? I’m yours!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
Art by John Tartaglione from “Dear Jilted” in Brides in Love #8, 1958.
Welcome to “the Most Boring Swinger’s Party of All Time!”
The schedule:
8-9 p.m.: Polite conversation about the weather.
9-10 p.m.: Tell a slightly dirty joke. Then apologize to your date. Apologize again. Keep apologizing—because really, it wasn’t that funny!
10-midnight: Dancing. Hands above the waist, young man!
12-12:30 a.m.: Thank the host and say goodbye. Then flee!!!
12:30-12:33 a.m.: Get in your car, buckle up and give your date a quick kiss. Then maybe another one.
12:33-12:34 a.m.: Sex. Orgasm optional.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
Art by Bill Ward from Diary Loves #9, 1951.
Please teach my husband the proper moves. I don’t want him making any awkward, painful mistakes during our honeymoon. And, while you’re at it, teach him to dance too!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
Artist unknown. From “My Kisses Were Cheap” in DIARY LOVES #5, 1950.
Ladies, are you having trouble finding a mate? Perhaps that’s because you’ve limited yourself to humans.
There are plenty of attractive alien creatures who’d be tickled pink (and many other colors) to date an Earth female who’s more or less humanoid—like you!!!
Remember all those old sci-fi movies from the 1950s? They were actually documentaries. Mars really does want women from Earth. And so do the gents from Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto—which is a planet damn it.!
(TIP: Men from Pluto tend to overcompensate for their planetary failings by spending obscene amounts of money on their dates. Act now while they’re still feeling humiliated!)
So signup today for the Last Kiss Interplanetary Dating Service and receive a free vaccination for Venusian Venereal Disease!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
Art by Louis Ravelli from A NIGHT FOR LOVE, 1951.
Dear Men (and Some Women),
I’m now accepting applications from prospective lovers. Please send me your bank statements and an essay (“Why I Want to Be Your Sex Slave” in 69 words or less.) Immediately!
I reserve the right to reject and humiliate all of you—even if you don’t submit an application. —-Therese Von Tramp
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
