I’m Not Fat Today

I’m Not Fat Today

Artist unknown. From the story “Flight to Destiny” in SWEETHEART #104, 1951.

 

 

 

 

Transcript:

I’m not fat today!

It’s true…
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains…
’til buttons fly!

But why?

I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!

Tomorrow: I will be thin…
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”

Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!

Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!

Therefore…
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!

So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake–all day!

DJP.lk11

↓ Transcript
I’m not fat today!

It’s true...
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains...
’til buttons fly!

But why?

I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!

Tomorrow: I will be thin...
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”

Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!

Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!

Therefore...
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!

So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake--all day!

DJP.lk11