How to Choose a Wife…if Your Brain is a Kumquat! by John | Oct 4, 2012 | Blog If I were single, I’m sure I’d get into all sorts of trouble in my quest to find a good woman. (Or a bad one.) But—-barring a brain transplant with a kumquat—-I wouldn’t be fatheaded enough to try and choose a wife this way… Click image to enlarge.