by John | May 10, 2011 | Uncategorized
Madame Colet: Marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together.
Madame Colet (continues): But with you, Francois–I think it would be a mistake.
From my favorite movie–Ernst Lubitch’s Trouble in Paradise. Screenplay by Samson Raphaelson.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman kisses a man on his cheek. He arches a brow and looks at her with bemusement.
WOMAN: I know! Let’s pretend we’re happily married!
MAN: To each other?
Art by Dick Giordano
by John | May 8, 2011 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Bride and groom kissing.
BRIDE: So far so good!
Art by Vince Colleta Studio
by John | May 5, 2011 | Uncategorized
Stylish moms and toilets? Gee, what does that remind me of? Ah, the Lustig goldfish story!
When I was a kid we had the world’s only talking goldfish. Okay, it didn’t exactly talk—at least not in anything recognizable as English.
But it used to come to the surface of its water bowl frequently and make popping sounds. Now I don’t remember any of this. I don’t even remember the fish. But my mom swears it was a very noisy goldfish.
In fact, all that fish chatter started getting on Mom’s nerves. And–since neither I nor my brother seemed to care about little Goldie Yaks–Mom decided Goldie had to go.
(If you’re squeamish or feel strongly about a goldfish’s “human” rights, please stop reading.)
The easiest way to send Goldie packing? The toilet!
But after Mom put Goldie into the toilet, she had a Mom moment. She wanted to be kind and give Goldie a fighting chance at survival–or at least a hearty last meal. So she dumped some fish food in the toilet. Then she flushed.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Beautiful woman showing off the fancy evening gown she's wearing.
WOMAN: …and now, I’ll scrub the toilet!
CAPTION: Mom, you’ve always had style! Happy Mother’s Day!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
by John | May 3, 2011 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man and woman dancing.
WOMAN: You’re too sexy to be just a friend! But you’d make a great ex-husband!
by John | May 1, 2011 | Uncategorized
I think “Be Your Evil Twin Day” would make a great national holiday. I intend to be my evil twin–or at least someone else–the rest of today!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman talking to a man.
WOMAN: I’m tired of being good! I want to be my evil twin!
