Frosty the Snow Puddle

Frosty the Snow Puddle

Watch your TV channel listings. I’m starting a new news network. (I wanted to start an old news network–“Last year’s news today!”–because that way we might actually get some facts right. Alas, it already exists as the so-called “History Channel.”)

Unlike Fox News, my new network (Foxy News—“Fairly Balanced if You Don’t Check the Facts!”) will specialize in complete fluff. Stories about kittens. Celebrity news. Celebrity views. Celebrity kittens. Celebrity tax audits. And, of course, politics—but only if there’s a sex scandal involving a celebrity.

I just hope it’s mindless enough.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman with pencil and several sheets of paper reads the news. (Yes, the station is too cheap for a teleprompter.) On the back of one of the sheets, it says "Foxy News.")

WOMAN: Is global warming real? We asked Frosty the Snowman! His response? “I’m m-e-e-e-lting!”

WOMAN (again): That Frosty! Such a kidder!