Exam Scam

Huge kudos to long-time Last Kiss fan (and life-long wit) Jim Guida for today’s gag. Jim has written the dialogue for several Last Kiss gags now. And I’m happy to say that I suspect there will be more.

Although I’ve got a lot of doctor art in my archive, I didn’t have anything that quite fit my needs for this gag. So, I ended up putting together characters from two different stories. Unfortunately, they’re by two artists with very different styles. So, the art’s not as seamless as I’d like. But the reaction from the woman is perfect for the joke. So, I went with it!

Original Vintage Art & Text

Art by Lee Elias from the story “My Beloved Doctor” in True Love #51, 1958.

Art by Alex Toth & Mike Peppe from the story “Murder Mansion” in ADVENTURES INTO DARKNESS #5, 1952.

 

Transcript:

SCENE: A male doctor is talking to his patient. In the background the patient (a woman) reacts with pop-eyed incredulity.

DOC: if you’ll
get your feet up in those stirrups, we’ll begin the exam.

WOMAN: Really? For an ear infection?

Doctor Art: Lee Elias Patient Art: Alex Toth & Mike Peppe

Guest Writer: Jim Guida Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A male doctor is talking to his patient. In the background the patient (a woman) reacts with pop-eyed incredulity.



DOC: if you'll
get your feet up in those stirrups, we'll begin the exam.

WOMAN: Really? For an ear infection?

Doctor Art: Lee Elias Patient Art: Alex Toth & Mike Peppe

Guest Writer: Jim Guida Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

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Royal Lust

Original Vintage Art & Text

Art by Nina Albright from the story “I Cheated at Love” from Thrilling Romances #20, July 1952.

 

 

 

Transcript: 

SCENE: Doctor talking to a young woman.

DOCTOR: You’re dating the king! So,
be careful! There’s a good chance…you’ll
be royally screwed!

1952 Art: Nina Albright New Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

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Thrilling-Romances20_30_7

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Doctor talking to a young woman.

DOCTOR: You’re dating the king! So,
be careful! There’s a good chance...you’ll
be royally screwed!

1952 Art: Nina Albright New Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

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Thrilling-Romances20_30_7

I’m Not Fat Today

Artist unknown. From the story “Flight to Destiny” in SWEETHEART #104, 1951.

 

 

 

 

Transcript:

I’m not fat today!

It’s true…
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains…
’til buttons fly!

But why?

I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!

Tomorrow: I will be thin…
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”

Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!

Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!

Therefore…
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!

So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake–all day!

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↓ Transcript
I’m not fat today!

It’s true...
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains...
’til buttons fly!

But why?

I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!

Tomorrow: I will be thin...
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”

Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!

Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!

Therefore...
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!

So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake--all day!

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Humor Hurts

It’s a day early, but Happy April Fool’s Day.

(By the way, if you hurt yourself laughing at Tony Isabella‘s gag then please seek medication attention—stat!)

Original, Vintage Art & Text:

Art by Dick Giordano from The Young Doctors #6, Nov. 1963. Charlton Comics

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Doctor in a hospital acts like he’s having sudden, overwhelming pain as a patient in a bed looks on in alarm.

CAPTION: Dr. Kevin thought his “Alien chest buster” reenactment
was hilarious…just the thing to relax his surgical patients. He never grasped the correlation between this…and the rising cost…of his malpractice insurance.

1963 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Writer: Tony Isabella

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Doctor in a hospital acts like he's having sudden, overwhelming pain as a patient in a bed looks on in alarm.

CAPTION: Dr. Kevin thought his “Alien chest buster” reenactment
was hilarious...just the thing to relax his surgical patients. He never grasped the correlation between this...and the rising cost...of his malpractice insurance.

1963 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Writer: Tony Isabella

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