Postage Due, Valentine!

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A beautiful woman cries and stares at a letter carrier as he takes some mail out of a box and looks back at her.

WOMAN: B-but you must have at least one valentine for me! I've slept with every man in town!

MALE LETTER CARRIER: Well...uh, not every man!

Half-Price Love!

So maybe he can afford to date her–for now. But what happens if things get serious? Even at half price, could he afford the honeymoon?

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man holds crying woman.

MAN: Sorry, but I'm dumping you for my therapist! She's blonde, beautiful and best of all...she's only charging me half price for tonight's date!

WOMAN: You fool! Now you'll never get out of therapy!

Lie to Me! Please!!!

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A surprise party. Young woman hugs a man as friends celebrate around them. There's a birthday cake on a table in front of them.

WOMAN: What a wonderful surprise! How did you keep it a secret?

MAN: Easy! I just lied to you…like usual!

SECOND WOMAN (looking on): GEE! I wish someone would lie to me!

Kid Me Not

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Two women and a man are standing at a train station.

FIRST WOMAN: …so, you’ll be okay while I’m gone?

MAN: Sure! I’ve hired this young lady to move in and, uh…be the kids’ new mommy!

SECOND WOMAN: Kids? You've got kids?

Give Him Credit?

I love this guy. He’s so smug. You just know he’s up to no good!

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman embracing.

MAN: But, Babe, why do I need a job? I’ve got credit cards!

WOMAN: Gosh, Sweetie! Why do I need a boyfriend? I’ve got a vibrator!