Well Blow Me Down

Delicious dialogue by Tony Isabella—spinach salesman to the stars and writer of stuff.

Art by Dick Giordano from Secrets of Young Brides #37, June 1963.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Young man in a sailor’s cap is standing behind a crying woman, holding her by the arm just below the shoulder.

WOMAN: We’re finished! I won’t wear a ratty old dress..and go on a starvation diet…and get breast reduction surgery…to fulfill your “Olive Oyl” fantasy!

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Young man in a sailor's cap is standing behind a crying woman, holding her by the arm just below the shoulder.

WOMAN: We’re finished! I won’t wear a ratty old dress..and go on a starvation diet...and get breast reduction surgery...to fulfill your “Olive Oyl” fantasy!

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The Society of Slightly Useful Heroes

Inks by Dick Giordano from the story “Hello Beautiful” in First Kiss #12, Jan. 1960.

 

Transcript:

CAPTION #1: After its latest humiliating defeat, The Society of Slightly Useful Heroes meets in its secret headquarters. (Just off Highway 9! Ask for directions at the Motel 6.) Never has morale been so low! Never has the future looked so bleak! And never have the potato chips been so stale! Oh, what to do? What to do?

SCENE: Very unglamorous-looking group of people (three-women and two women) in a living room/parlor setting.)

CAPTION #2 is a Roll Call: Our Heroes: Princess PMS

Bowel Boy

Captain Kaput

Lady Looker

Quip Queen

WOMAN #1: Our foes are laughing at us! They say we’re Common Cowards!

WOMAN #2: B-But we’re not! Everyone knows…we’re super cowards!

1960 Inks: Dick Giordano New Color: Allen Freeman

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↓ Transcript
CAPTION #1: After its latest humiliating defeat, The Society of Slightly Useful Heroes meets in its secret headquarters. (Just off Highway 9! Ask for directions at the Motel 6.) Never has morale been so low! Never has the future looked so bleak! And never have the potato chips been so stale! Oh, what to do? What to do?

SCENE: Very unglamorous-looking group of people (three-women and two women) in a living room/parlor setting.)

CAPTION #2 is a Roll Call: Our Heroes: Princess PMS

Bowel Boy

Captain Kaput

Lady Looker

Quip Queen

WOMAN #1: Our foes are laughing at us! They say we’re Common Cowards!

WOMAN #2: B-But we’re not! Everyone knows...we’re super cowards!

1960 Inks: Dick Giordano New Color: Allen Freeman

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Beware! Beach Monsters!

Tony Isabella‘s love for “Uncle Godzilla” isn’t exactly a secret.

For years Tony has been proclaiming himself “the pastor of the First Church of Godzilla.

Kinky? Sure. But Tony assures me that I have nothing to worry about. (No virgins, giant moths or three-headed dragons were sacrificed in the making of today’s comic.)

I appreciate Tony’s passion for giant, god-like creatures. So expect more Gorgo comics to pop up here—occasionally—in the future.

Will they be religious experiences? I don’t know. But I’m sure they’ll be funny.

Now let us prey!

Art by Steve Ditko from the story “Goro’s Triumph!” in Gorgo #11, Feb. 1963.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Gorgo (a Godzilla like creature) attacks a movie crew that’s filming on a beach.

GORGO (thinking): Their Covid-19 numbers are climbing…and they have their beaches open! No social distancing! No masks! Uncle Godzilla definitely nailed it…about “the folly of man!”

1963 Art: Steve Ditko
Guest Dialogue: Tony Isabella

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Gorgo (a Godzilla like creature) attacks a movie crew that's filming on a beach.

GORGO (thinking): Their Covid-19 numbers are climbing...and they have their beaches open! No social distancing! No masks! Uncle Godzilla definitely nailed it...about “the folly of man!”

1963 Art: Steve Ditko
Guest Dialogue: Tony Isabella

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Super Sisterhood

Super fun (and dietary guidance) from Black Lightning creator Tony Isabella.

Art by Art Saaf & Mike Peppe from the story “Kiss and Run” in NEW ROMANCES #14, 1952.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Costumed superhero woman is changing in an alley when she spots a man and a woman talking.

SUPERHERO: My ex doesn’t realize it, but he’s hooking up with a villainess who will drain all his stamina. Oh, heck, he was a lousy boyfriend in and out of the sack. Who am I to deny a sister a light snack?

1952 Art: Art Saaf & Mike Peppe Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Costumed superhero woman is changing in an alley when she spots a man and a woman talking.

SUPERHERO: My ex doesn’t realize it, but he’s hooking up with a villainess who will drain all his stamina. Oh, heck, he was a lousy boyfriend in and out of the sack. Who am I to deny a sister a light snack?

1952 Art: Art Saaf & Mike Peppe Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

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Goodbye Riverdale

My thanks to Black Lightning creator Tony Isabella for this alternative take on Riverdale’s red-headed heartthrob.

Art by Dick Giordano from Secrets of Young Brides #36, 1957.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Diego and a crying red-head Archie look back wistfully at something off-screen.

CAPTION: As she took a last wistful look at Riverdale…she knew Diego had been right. About her and about what she felt for him. Diego mused that his life with Archie had certainly taken a wonderful turn.

CAPTION: Love is Love.

1957 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Diego and a crying red-head Archie look back wistfully at something off-screen.

CAPTION: As she took a last wistful look at Riverdale…she knew Diego had been right. About her and about what she felt for him. Diego mused that his life with Archie had certainly taken a wonderful turn.

CAPTION: Love is Love.

1957 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

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