Ms. Sniff

 

Art attributed to George Tuska from the “Glory Forbes” story in Rangers Comics #22, April 1945.

 

 

Transcript:

CAPTION: At first, Shirley Smelmoor was just a hardworking deodorant model–testing the olfactory limits of the latest pit protection devised by Dismal Hygiene, Inc! But then a new, experimental deodorant is accidentally mixed with radioactive ore! (Don’t ask how! It doesn’t make sense to us either!) And Shirley becomes Ms. Sniff–the Maid of Malodorous Might!

PANEL #1: Ms. Sniff is undressing on a dock.

MS. SNIFF (thinking): Stopping that bank robbery left me smelling worse than a skunk in a cesspool!

PANEL #2: Ms. Sniff dives off the pier into the water as a bystander comments.

BYSTANDER: Hey! What reeks? Did something die?MS. SNIFF (thinking): A quick bath in Lake Fetid should do the trick!

PANEL #3: Ms. Sniff is hiding in the water below the pier as she hears voices from above.

BYSTANDER: No! It’s worse! It’s Ms. Sniff…The siren of stench!

BYSTANDER #2: Again? That putrid pariah oughta be run out of town!

MS. SNIFF (thinking): Th-that voice! It’s my date…Paul!

CAPTION: What happens next? Find out in our next sinus-scorching adventure: “I’ll love you forever…as long as you’re downwind!”

1945 Art by George Tuska Color by Lustig

MsSniffGeoTuskaColor.tif

 

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: At first, Shirley Smelmoor was just a hardworking deodorant model--testing the olfactory limits of the latest pit protection devised by Dismal Hygiene, Inc! But then a new, experimental deodorant is accidentally mixed with radioactive ore! (Don’t ask how! It doesn’t make sense to us either!) And Shirley becomes Ms. Sniff--the Maid of Malodorous Might!

PANEL #1: Ms. Sniff is undressing on a dock.

MS. SNIFF (thinking): Stopping that bank robbery left me smelling worse than a skunk in a cesspool!


PANEL #2: Ms. Sniff dives off the pier into the water as a bystander comments.

BYSTANDER: Hey! What reeks? Did something die?MS. SNIFF (thinking): A quick bath in Lake Fetid should do the trick!

PANEL #3: Ms. Sniff is hiding in the water below the pier as she hears voices from above.

BYSTANDER: No! It’s worse! It’s Ms. Sniff...The siren of stench!

BYSTANDER #2: Again? That putrid pariah oughta be run out of town!

MS. SNIFF (thinking): Th-that voice! It’s my date…Paul!

CAPTION: What happens next? Find out in our next sinus-scorching adventure: “I’ll love you forever…as long as you’re downwind!”

1945 Art by George Tuska Color by Lustig

The Unlikeliest Superhero of All

 

Art by Art Cappello & Vince Alascia from the story “My Man” in First Kiss #11, Nov. 1959.

 

Transcript:

CAPTION: During every full moon Tallulah Tearwell becomes a living dynamo of emotional energy…capable of feats far beyond the ken of mortal man! Thus is born the legend of the unlikeliest superhero of all…PMS Woman!

VOICE COMING FROM OFF-PANEL: Wait! come back! The quicksand is sucking me under! I…ggglubb!

RUNNING WOMAN: That look of horror…can mean only one thing! He thinks I’m fat! Must go…shopping…before it’s too late!

1958 Art: Art Cappello & Vince Alascia Color by Allen Freeman

11.4.5.3

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: During every full moon Tallulah Tearwell becomes a living dynamo of emotional energy...capable of feats far beyond the ken of mortal man! Thus is born the legend of the unlikeliest superhero of all...PMS Woman!

VOICE COMING FROM OFF-PANEL: Wait! come back! The quicksand is sucking me under! I...ggglubb!

RUNNING WOMAN: That look of horror...can mean only one thing! He thinks I'm fat! Must go...shopping...before it's too late!

1958 Art: Art Cappello & Vince Alascia Color by Allen Freeman

11.4.5.3

Secret Origin of the Six Dollar Man

Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story “Good Ole Joe” in FIRST KISS #1, 1957.

 

Transcript:

CAPTION: In the brutal, ancient past before web comics existed…

PANEL 1, SCENE: Young woman and man embrace in the background, looking towards an older woman in the foreground.

MAN: We’re getting married! In fact…You’re practically a grandma!

PANEL 2:

OLDER WOMAN: Dream on! You can’t support a family! You spend all your money on comic books!

MAN: T-t-then I’ll give up comics! I’ll go cold turkey!

CAPTION: “To take my mind off my comic book cravings, I took up less expensive, less dangerous hobbies: Smoking, drinking, skydiving without a parachute! But nothing worked until…”

CAPTION: “I had a brilliant idea!”

PANEL 3, SCENE: Man stubbing out cigarette in an ash tray.

MAN: I can still buy comics…if I sell one of my kidneys! But…what’ll I do next month?

CAPTION: Next: The Secret Origin of The Bionic Comic Fan
1957 Art: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color: Allen Freeman

1.6.4.1-3

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: In the brutal, ancient past before web comics existed...

PANEL 1, SCENE: Young woman and man embrace in the background, looking towards an older woman in the foreground.

MAN: We're getting married! In fact...You're practically a grandma!

PANEL 2:

OLDER WOMAN: Dream on! You can’t support a family! You spend all your money on comic books!

MAN: T-t-then I'll give up comics! I'll go cold turkey!

CAPTION: “To take my mind off my comic book cravings, I took up less expensive, less dangerous hobbies: Smoking, drinking, skydiving without a parachute! But nothing worked until...”

CAPTION: “I had a brilliant idea!"

PANEL 3, SCENE: Man stubbing out cigarette in an ash tray.

MAN: I can still buy comics...if I sell one of my kidneys! But...what'll I do next month?

CAPTION: Next: The Secret Origin of The Bionic Comic Fan
1957 Art: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color: Allen Freeman

1.6.4.1-3

Comics to the Rescue

This is another one of the Last Kiss comics I originally created for Comics Buyer’s Guide way back when. This is the first time it’s ever appeared on the web. First time in color too!

Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia from the story Judy and the Dude in Career Girl Romances #64, 1971.

 

Transcript:

CAPTION: Your car breaks down on a lonely dirt road…miles from anywhere! No food! No cell phone! No Tivo! All you have are your wits…and your comic books (because you’d never leave home without them.) How do you survive?

A. You read your comics for inspiration and come up with a brilliant plan! Alas, it involves time travel and moving the Earth out of orbit. So you die!

B. You alert Superman with your emergency signal watch! You’re saved!

C. Oops! You forgot to put new batteries in the watch! You die!

D. You (reluctantly!) ask your girlfriend for advice. She fixes the car in 10 seconds with some
chewing gum. You’re saved!

E. You decide it’s all a dream! So it won’t matter if you ignore everything and keep reading comics until…you die!

SCENE: Man and woman cuddling and enjoying a campfire.

MAN: Wow! This is great! How did you get the fire going?

WOMAN: I used your comics for kindling!

CareerGRomances64.1.4.4Original

1971 Art: Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia in Career Girl Romances #64.

 

↓ Transcript
Transcript:

CAPTION: Your car breaks down on a lonely dirt road…miles from anywhere! No food! No cell phone! No Tivo! All you have are your wits…and your comic books (because you’d never leave home without them.) How do you survive?

A. You read your comics for inspiration and come up with a brilliant plan! Alas, it involves time travel and moving the Earth out of orbit. So you die!

B. You alert Superman with your emergency signal watch! You’re saved!

C. Oops! You forgot to put new batteries in the watch! You die!

D. You (reluctantly!) ask your girlfriend for advice. She fixes the car in 10 seconds with some
chewing gum. You’re saved!

E. You decide it’s all a dream! So it won’t matter if you ignore everything and keep reading comics until...you die!

SCENE: Man and woman cuddling and enjoying a campfire.

MAN: Wow! This is great! How did you get the fire going?

WOMAN: I used your comics for kindling!

CareerGRomances64.1.4.4Original

1971 Art: Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia in Career Girl Romances #64.

Siren Sex

Here’s another updated comic from the days when I did Last Kiss for Comics Buyer’s Guide. Note: The two original art panels (below) are from the same story, but were taken from different pages of that story.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Jealousy” in First Kiss #14, 1960.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Jealousy” in First Kiss #14, 1960.

 

Curious about the story this art comes from? You can read the entire—extremely odd—story and the rest of the vintage comic book here on the free comics site, ComicBookPlus.com.

Transcript:

CAPTION: Welcome to Comicstown–where getting bitten by a radioactive spider, cloned by aliens, and becoming an orphaned mutant are every child’s dream…and constitutional right!

SCARLET SIREN: I’m the Scarlet Siren! My super power? I turn men into…unsuspecting fools!

MAN: I find that hard to believe!

SCARLET SIREN: See! It’s working already!

1960 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color by Allen Freeman

Art Code: 14.1.1.3 & 14.1.2.2

 

 

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: Welcome to Comicstown--where getting bitten by a radioactive spider, cloned by aliens, and becoming an orphaned mutant are every child’s dream…and constitutional right!

SCARLET SIREN: I’m the Scarlet Siren! My super power? I turn men into…unsuspecting fools!

MAN: I find that hard to believe!

SCARLET SIREN: See! It's working already!

1960 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color by Allen Freeman

Art Code: 14.1.1.3 & 14.1.2.2