Love Me Tender—Or Else!

This isn’t the first silly verse I’ve written. Over the years, I’ve occasionally slipped nonsense rhymes into my comic book scripts for Disney:

“But we mail carriers are tough! We eat spinach and liver!

“And though we may occasionally shiver…

15 Shady Poems

“Like Santa, with postage, we always deliver!”

But I’m not a real poet like my pal Robert Hoffman. His stuff isn’t just funny. It’s also sophisticated. And highbrow!

(By that, of course, I mean that his poetry doesn’t rhyme—and, yet, people still recognize it as poetry. Something I couldn’t pull off!)

I’d be jealous except that he asked me to provide the cover art for his new book 15 Shady Poems and a Love Sonnet.

 

I can’t resent anyone with taste bad enough to want me associated with such high-class poetry!

Art from Intimate #3, 1958.

Art from Intimate #3, 1958.

 

 

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Beautiful woman in a slinky dress singing into a microphone.

WOMAN (singing): Love me tender, Love me sweet. Beware!
I know judo! Wash your feet! And
then repeat, This is not porn--ooo!*

*With apologies to Elvis Presley
--not that he cares.

Restoration & Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

©2013 Last Kiss Inc

Intimate3.9.1

Science or Fiction?

I believe in evolution and global warming. But I have my doubts about the Internet.

Are all my friends on Facebook real? Or imaginary?

I think I’ll ask the magic unicorn in my closet.

Original artist unknown.

Original artist unknown.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: I don’t believe in science! And neither do my imaginary friends!

Restoration & Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

©2013 Last Kiss Inc

Me? Moody?

Me? Moody? I don’t think so.

“Indecisive” might be a better word. But  I can’t make up my mind.

Art from Love at First Sight #35

Art from Love at First Sight #35

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Distressed woman in bed alone.

WOMAN (thinking): He thinks I’m too moody? Oh, how I hate him!

WOMAN (thinking again): Or do I?

Restoration & Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira

©2013 Last Kiss Inc

LoveAtFirstSight35.8.2

Left to Her Sexy Wits

Men are always staring at her big, beautiful wits.

Original art "The Girl Next Door" from First Kiss #3, 1958.

Original art “The Girl Next Door” from First Kiss #3, 1958.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN (thinking): No food!
No water! All I have left are my wits…and the power to make men act like idiots!

©2013 Last Kiss Inc

Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman

3.2.3.1

Give Him Credit?

Art from First Kiss #5, 1958.

Art from First Kiss #5, 1958.

The story “The Sea Green Eyes” in First Kiss #5 features a talented young poet and an assistant editor at a publishing firm. She discovers his work in the firm’s slush pile and gets him published. A match made in heaven? You bet…until he becomes famous and ditches her two pages later.

Fortunately, on the following page, his career goes to hell and he comes running back to her.

↓ Transcript
MAN: But, Babe, why do I need a job? You’ve got credit cards!

Gosh, Sweetie! Why do I need a boyfriend? I’ve got a vibrator!