Okay. Here’s the Jack Nicholson version of “No Substitutions.”
Old Perceval decided to treat himself for his 100th birthday. So he flew first-class to San Francisco and checked into the Fairmont Hotel. The mischievous hotel concierge got an idea and, as a practical joke, sent a call girl up to his room.
She knocked, and the old fellow walked slowly over and opened the door. He saw a beautiful red-headed woman standing before him.
“I have a birthday present for you,” she said, and smiled.
She leaned forward and whispered, “I’m here to give you super sex.”
When guys get that hungry, they usually just have a hot dish on the side.
“Thanks,” he said thoughtfully, “I’ll take the soup.”
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