Imaginary Women

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SCENE: Woman looking in a mirror.

WOMAN: In my universe I'm a 10! And every other woman is an imaginary number!

Pencils by Charles Nicholas.

It’s Not My Fault!

If this isn’t funny, it’s probably not your fault. So don’t feel bad. I don’t blame you.

You’re probably just tired. Get some rest and read it again tomorrow. It’ll be funnier then. If it isn’t–then it really is your fault!

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MAN: It’s not my fault! You're the one who married me!

Ms. Miserable

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SCENE: Woman crying.

CAPTION: Many superheroes have tragic origins, but few can compare to the tear-streaked tale of Ms. Miserable--The Human Fire Extinguisher! Orphaned as a baby when her parents tried to save the whales--in giant Mylar bags--Penny DredJoy holds the world record for nonstop sobbing!

WOMAN: I’m beautiful! Healthy! Rich! And today’s...a national holiday in my honor! But I just
know something will go wrong tomorrow!

CAPTION: Never underestimate the power of negative thinking!

Inked by Dick Giordano

Sitting Pretty?

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SCENE: Woman sitting in a room.

WOMAN: I’m sitting pretty! But I
prefer...on-my-back gorgeous!

Shh! Don’t Tell Anyone, But…

Will she tell? That’s my secret…

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WOMAN: Sure! I can keep a secret! Ask anyone!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio