So Proud

I skipped my own graduations (high school and college), but I’ve gone to other people’s–mostly notably my daughter’s last year when she got her degree in Computer Engineering at the University of Washington. And, yes, I’m still proud!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: College campus.

FATHER: We’re so proud!

FATHER (again): So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud! So proud!

DAUGHTER (in college graduation robe): I’m sure I’ll get tired of this...in a few hours!

Stop Undressing Me

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WOMAN: Stop undressing me with your eyes!

WOMAN (again): Use your teeth!

Now We’re Cooking

Well, at least she’s cooking–sorta. These days, I’m either eating things cold (salads) or I’m microwaving. Does that count as cooking?

The Major General of Lustig Culinary Delights (Shelagh) has been AWOL much of this month on a nursing assignment–healing the sick and no doubt laughing at jokes funnier than mine. (Sob!) Fortunately, she’ll return in a few days and so I’ll have my audience/laugh track back.

In the meantime, it’s not like I can’t fend on my own. I’m eating pretty healthy. And it’s kinda fun seeing how many forgotten items from the fridge and pantry I can throw together in a wrap and see if they explode in the microwave. Tomorrow I may break out the wok and stir fry whatever’s in the freezer. Now, that’s real cooking!

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SCENE: Young woman and young man are on the beach roasting marshmallows.

WOMAN: See! I told you I can cook!

A Friend Of The Fleet

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WOMAN (close-up): Don't wait up for me, Dear! The Fleet's in! I may not be back for days!

Maid To Please

Announcing the Last Kiss Maid Service: We take care of all your needs–whether you like it or not!

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CAPTION: Always eager to please, Millie was almost the perfect maid…

YOUNG WOMAN (to maid): You gave a flea bath to the dog?

MAID: Yup! And to your dad too!