PMS Woman

I have to admit, I have no idea what PMS Woman’s super powers really are. Any ideas? If you’ve got suggestions and want to share them with me and other readers, you can post them on GoComics here in the comments section.

GoComics will purge comments which are considered offensive. So don’t go nuts, but definitely have fun!

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: During every full moon Tallulah Tearwell becomes a living dynamo of emotional energy...capable of feats far beyond the ken of mortal man! Thus is born the legend of the unlikeliest superhero of all...PMS Woman!

MAN (offpanel) screaming: Wait! come back! The quicksand is sucking me under! I...ggglubb!

PMS WOMAN: That look of horror...can mean only one thing! He thinks I'm fat!

PMS WOMAN: Must it's too late!

Two-fisted stewardess

This is one of the first Last Kiss gags I ever wrote…and it’s probably still my wife’s favorite gag. One thing that’s different, though, is that my colorist Allen Freeman has given the characters a new look. No longer all white. And certainly not blonde. It’s nice to have a little diversity–something that was extremely scarce in the original romance comics.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

↓ Transcript
PASSENGER: Stewardess, how about a gin and tonic?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Sure, I could use a drink!

Pregnant? Who?

This guy is either very twisted–or very naive. I’m not sure which. The original version of the gag started out with just the woman speaking. And that’s how it’ll appear (soon I hope) when GoComics offers it as one of several Last Kiss cellphone wallpapers. Since cell screens are so small, I limited myself to six words or less for all gags.

But when I decided to recycle the comic for the web, I had more room for text. Hence the extra gag–and the new twist.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: One of us is pregnant!
MAN: I hope it's me!

Sob Sister!

Sob Sister is obviously one of those people who thrives on misery. But at least she gets a super power out of it. The downside is that her version of Kryptonite is being happy. Give her a big box of chocolates or a passionate kiss…and she feels weak. A Sex and the City marathon renders her utterly helpless. And that’s so sad…I suddenly feel like wearing a cape and thwarting crime!

By the way, if this comic looks familiar then it’s probably because I’m recycling a few comics as I get up to speed doing three comics a week on GoComics. But a lot of the old-timers are getting a face lift–new color and revised dialogue. Hopefully, they’ll be even better the second time around.

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: Bitten by a radioactive shoe salesman, Cyndi Snifflepod undergoes a strange transformation! Whenever she cries, Cyndi becomes Sob Sister…the world’s mightiest bargain hunter!

SCENE: Man and woman talking.

WOMAN: Quick! the orphans need new clothes! Make me...suffer!
MAN: Why bother? A fat failure like you...can’t help anyone!

CAPTION: Instantly, Cindy's tough persona dissolves into a tear-streaked super shopper feared in retail outlets across the GALAXY...SOB SISTER!

MAN: My poor darling! No bargain is worth this much pain!

MAN: You’re right! (Sniff) m-maybe you the shopping for me!
MAN: Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, Blubber Butt!

©2009 Last Kiss Inc

Sex Education for Nincompoops?

Has anyone ever flunked sex education? How embarrassing would that be? Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Lustig, but Johnny can’t graduate because he doesn’t know the difference between %^&@ and #&@*! And he can’t even find his own *#@%!

The only thing I remember clearly from class is that I once asked the teacher a question so embarrassing that he refused to answer me. Or was it a woman teacher? Oh, crud. I need a refresher course! Hey, Shelagh…

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman talking.

WOMAN: You flunked sex?

MAN: Just foreplay!