by John | Sep 21, 2009 | Uncategorized
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s not a morning person…
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman is about to drink some hot coffee.
PANEL 1:
WOMAN (thinks): Everyone knows I’m the world’s nicest, person...
SOUND (from off panel): GROAN
PANEL 2:
WOMAN (thinks): unless you bother me before my first cup!
VOICE (from off panel): So much blood!
FK33.3.7.5
by John | Sep 18, 2009 | Uncategorized
Do I need to explain that this is just a joke? And that no babies, moms, or imaginary animals were harmed, traumatized or sexualized in the making of this comic? No? Good!
This comic is now available in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Smiling mom with smiling baby.
MOM: Guess what? It's time to breast feed!
BABY: Oedipus complex by damned! I'm in love!
by John | Sep 2, 2009 | Uncategorized
Oops! It’s always embarrassing when you can’t remember the name of the person you slept with. Of course, that’s what name badges are for…
This episode now available in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Young woman without a shirt (but wearing a bra) adjusts her hair in front of a mirror. Behind her, a second young woman (in a ) looks on.
WOMAN #1: Gee! We haven’t had a sleepover since the night you and Bob broke up!
WOMAN #2: I didn’t sleep over that night!
WOMAN #1 (again): Really? I’m sure I slept with one of you
by John | Aug 19, 2009 | Uncategorized
Writing a gag for art that has no visible people in it is always a challenge. For a long time now, I’ve been wanting to come up with a great gag for this piece of art. This is the best I’ve come up with (so far) that’s reasonably clean!
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Passenger jet dives steeply towards the water and then pulls up at the last second.
PILOT: HA!
PILOT (again): I saved us...at the last second!
PILOT (again): See? I told ya...
PILOT (again): I'm not hopelessly drunk!
aviation
by John | Aug 7, 2009 | Uncategorized
It always strikes me as bizarre that in the movies a woman removes her glasses (or has them removed) and suddenly, the chump she’s with discovers that she’s beautiful. And then–and this is the truly crazy part–she doesn’t wear or need her glasses for the rest of the movie. Did her eyesight suddenly improve?
Hmm. If that’s all it takes then I have a message for all the women who wear glasses and are reading this. You’re beautiful, gorgeous and a sight to behold. Cured? Great. I’ll send you my bill!
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptMAN (who has removed a woman's glasses and is staring at her passionately): Without your glasses you’re gorgeous
WOMAN (thinks): if only I could see who he is!
