Your Birthday and Me

See? I didn’t forget your birthday. I did this comic, (insert your name), just for you!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman dancing.

WOMAN: Silly me! I thought you forgot my birthday!

MAN (thinking): Birthday? Oh…crud! Now she’ll expect me to pay for dinner!

Direct Deposit Birthdays

Birthday cards appreciated, but not required with every deposit.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Instead of blackmail, consider it a birthday gift that you’ll be giving me…several times a year!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Lie to Me! Please!!!

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A surprise party. Young woman hugs a man as friends celebrate around them. There's a birthday cake on a table in front of them.

WOMAN: What a wonderful surprise! How did you keep it a secret?

MAN: Easy! I just lied to you…like usual!

SECOND WOMAN (looking on): GEE! I wish someone would lie to me!

Clean Underwear…Again?

Today is Gladys Rumplethorne’s birthday. She and her husband Frank have been happily married for almost a year. The other 22 years of marriage are best not discussed.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Scruffy-looking man talks to a woman.

MAN: Surprise! I’m wearing clean underwear…and I may even shave!

WOMAN: Gosh! Is it my birthday already?

Almost Perfect

I’ve rewritten this gag several times over the years. I think I finally got it right, but I do miss one of the gags I cut. In the original version, the woman also rented the guy’s favorite movie: The Three Stooges Meet the 50-Foot Woman from Uranus!

The things I do for art…

↓ Transcript
WOMAN (to man): For your birthday, I filled the pool with beer...and invited all your pals over for poker and porn!

MAN: Yeah! You left the toilet seat down again!