What?!! Still working on your taxes? Then my pal Mike Pascale and I can predict your future.
For the next few days, you’re going to be like a sailor carrying an anchor in the desert. You’ll spend every minute cursing—complaining that life makes no sense. You may even tear your hair out in frustration.
Don’t have enough hair left to tear out? Tear someone else’s hair out. (However—and this is extremely important—it’s always polite to ask for permission first.)
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Sorry. No original art this time. Our crystal ball doesn’t know what happened.
Transcript:
SCENE: Woman holds a fortune telling-type crystal ball while talking to a man.
WOMAN: Beware
the Ides of May! Your taxes you must pay!
MAN: The ides? That’s
May 15! But the IRS says taxes aren’t due ‘til May 17.
SIGN HANGING ON A WALL IN THE BACKGROUND: Fortunes & Accounting. Madame Fortuna.
WOMAN: Madame Fortuna doesn’t care about the time! Only the rhyme!
1934 Artist Unknown Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Taxing Humor & Poetic Predictions: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk194_LK_MP
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman holds a fortune telling-type crystal ball while talking to a man.
WOMAN: Beware
the Ides of May! Your taxes you must pay!
MAN: The ides? That’s
May 15! But the IRS says taxes aren’t due ‘til May 17.
SIGN HANGING ON A WALL IN THE BACKGROUND: Fortunes & Accounting. Madame Fortuna.
WOMAN: Madame Fortuna doesn’t care about the time! Only the rhyme!
1934 Artist Unknown Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Taxing Humor & Poetic Predictions: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk194_LK_MP
WOMAN: Beware
the Ides of May! Your taxes you must pay!
MAN: The ides? That’s
May 15! But the IRS says taxes aren’t due ‘til May 17.
SIGN HANGING ON A WALL IN THE BACKGROUND: Fortunes & Accounting. Madame Fortuna.
WOMAN: Madame Fortuna doesn’t care about the time! Only the rhyme!
1934 Artist Unknown Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Taxing Humor & Poetic Predictions: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk194_LK_MP
If you’re due a refund (and you’re sure about that) you don’t have to file by a certain date. File at your leisure. Don’t wait more than three years, however. After three years from the original due date you don’t get your refund.
If you’re going to owe money, you’re screwed. File by the deadline even if you can’t pay. Penalties build up quickly.
According to “Advice for Evil Cultists” Derived from an article “How to be a Cultist” by Chris Bridges, published in The Unspeakable Oath, April 1993, Pagan Publishing.
If the spirit contacted during a seance begins offering financial advice, you’re dealing with a con artist, and not a genuine medium.
Also
Always keep your kit with you: candles, chalk, incense, silver knife, Thuggee cord, Thuggee knife, service revolver, garlic, Yellow Sign, cab fare, condoms, and change.
You can thank me later.
Yellow sign!?!
Oh, I’ve gotta see what’s written on that! LOL!