Bed Rest? Dream On!

 

Original, Vintage Published Art

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Perplexed” in First Kiss #38, 1964.

 

 

 

Transcript:

Scene: Woman in bed looking out at readers.

WOMAN: You can rest later! Get back in bed!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Color by Allen Freeman

38.3.2.1

↓ Transcript
Scene: Woman in bed looking out at readers.

WOMAN: You can rest later! Get back in bed!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Color by Allen Freeman

38.3.2.1

Size Doesn’t Matter. But…

Another huge harvest of hilarity from the talented Tony Isabella!

Vintage, Published Art:

Art by Ken Rice originally appeared in Ten-Story Love #204, 1955.

 

 

Transcription:

WOMAN: I couldn’t stop staring. it was the smallest I’d ever seen. He said not to worry, that he was a grower.

VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: And…?

WOMAN: Let’s just say it was a *SWOON* bumper crop!

1955 Art: Tim Rice Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: I couldn’t stop staring. it was the smallest I’d ever seen. He said not to worry, that he was a grower.

VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: And...?

WOMAN: Let’s just say it was a *SWOON* bumper crop!

1955 Art: Tim Rice Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Tony Isabella

Tzarzan vs. the Savage Simian Suitors

 

Art by Will Eisner from the cover of Jungle Comics #5, May 1940, published by Fiction House.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: Beautiful seductress in a slinky dress is standing in front of a skull cave as her subjects (armed ape men) fight with and menace Tzarzan—a Tarzan-like man in a leopard loincloth. In the background, a young woman is held captive by another ape man.

SEDUCTRESS: Prove your love, Tzarzan! Defeat my savage simian suitors! And I’ll go to second base with you!

TZARZAN: Lady, you’ve got a strange idea of foreplay!

1940 Art: Will Eisner Art Clean Up & Dialogue: John Lustig

JUNGLE 005

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Beautiful seductress in a slinky dress is standing in front of a skull cave as her subjects (armed ape men) fight with and menace Tzarzan---a Tarzan-like man in a leopard loincloth. In the background, a young woman is held captive by another ape man.

SEDUCTRESS: Prove your love, Tzarzan! Defeat my savage simian suitors! And I’ll go to second base with you!

TZARZAN: Lady, you’ve got a strange idea of foreplay!

1940 Art: Will Eisner Art Clean Up & Dialogue: John Lustig

JUNGLE 005

Birthday Gift

Happy Birthday to…me! (And all the other January 25th babies!)

Artist unknown. Art from the story “The Love that Failed” in FIRST KISS #25, 1962.

 

 

Transcript:

WOMAN (thinking): Hmm! What can I get him for his birthday? It can’t be sex! We did that last year!

1962 Artist Unknown Foreground Color: Allen Freeman

25.1.4.3

↓ Transcript
WOMAN (thinking): Hmm! What can I get him for his birthday? It can't be sex! We did that last year!

1962 Artist Unknown Foreground Color: Allen Freeman

Artist unknown. Art from the story "The Love that Failed" in FIRST KISS #25, 1962.

25.1.4.3



Hair Today? Guida Tomorrow!

My thanks to long-time Last Kiss fan Jim Guida for writing this gag. Jim, though, doesn’t claim sole credit for the gag. As Jim puts it:

“…the ‘nose hair’ joke was sort of stolen from an episode of FRIENDS, when Jennifer Aniston is looking at her Dad, as he lies in a hospital bed, and says, ‘Well, I see the nose and ear trimmer I got you was a waste of money.’ ”

Oh, Jim! Professional humorists don’t steal jokes. They borrow and re-interpret them. So, congratulations. You’re now a professional!

Original, Vintage Published Art:

Art by Dick Giordano from Secrets of Young Brides #43, July 1964.

 

 

Transcript:

SCENE: A woman lying face up on the grass reaches up to a man who is looking (tenderly?) at her.

MAN: You know, darling, that nose hair trimmer wasn’t a joke gift.

WOMAN: Oh, my god! I was hoping if I closed my eyes, he would think I was dead and just go away.

1964 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Jim Guida

DJP.lk610

 

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman lying face up on the grass reaches up to a man who is looking (tenderly?) at her.

MAN: You know, darling, that nose hair trimmer wasn't a joke gift.

WOMAN: Oh, my god! I was hoping if I closed my eyes, he would think I was dead and just go away.

1964 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Jim Guida

DJP.lk610