Mom vs Freud

Remember, kids! Getting turned on by fruit, vegetables or small household appliances doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. But we’ll punish you anyway–just to play it safe!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Young woman eats a raw carrot as her mom looks on.

MOM: I don’t care what you learned in school! In my house it’s a carrot! Not a phallic symbol!

SOUND: Crunch!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio
Color by Allen Freeman and John Lustig

Family Nicknames

Cute family nicknames are fun. After all, anyone can have an Uncle Fred. (I mean it. We’re giving ours away.)

But how many of you have an Uncle Stink Face? Ah hah! He sounds more interesting now–right? Suddenly, you want him.

(And you’re in luck! We’re still giving him away. Call now while supplies last and we’ll throw in Cousin Edwin or as we affectionately call him–That Sneaky Little Pervert.)

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Matronly woman sternly admonishes someone (whom we can't see.)

WOMAN: Stop calling me your “maiden aunt...”

WOMAN (again): And I’ll stop calling you my slutty niece!

WOMAN (again): Deal?

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Wedded Bliss Gone Amiss

In my previous comic, I had a couple getting married. It was (for me) an unusually sweet moment.

But today? Ack! We’re wallowing in the worst of wedded woes!

What can I say? Romantic comedy is a brutal business.

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Marriage is a beautiful thing! But with the right lawyer...so is alimony!

Weddings Make Me Cry

I just found a link to the world’s best wedding toast. I discovered it on Mark Evanier’s site–which is rapidly becoming my favorite blog.

↓ Transcript
SETTING: Bride and groom embracing.

BRIDE: Weddings always make me cry...especially my own!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio Color by Allen Freeman

Steaming-Hot Love on a Plate

Remember to preheat your oven before hot sex. Bake until satisfied. Then serve…as many times as possible.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman in a restaurant.

WOMAN: I’ll have the 99¢ Romance Special...with extra hot sex! And a
side order of yummy!