Don’t Be Paranoid

Don’t get me wrong. I love you. But maybe someone like you would be even better. If you’ve got some cousins maybe you could introduce me…

(Also funny in German.)

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman looking upset with a man.

WOMAN: Don't worry! I'll always love you! Or someone like you!

Art by Vince Colletta

Facebook Quiz — Gee Whiz!

I’ve decided to have my own Facebook quiz and make it about Facebook Quizzes. Here it is. You can tell the truth. Or you can be funny. Extra points if you’re both!

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: I took a Facebook quiz…and it
proves I’m right! I'm adorable!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Deja Vu Again

Husbands One, Two, Four, five, Six, and Lucky Number Seven all died accidentally of food poisoning. Husband Three committed suicide by shooting himself repeatedly through the heart while falling off a cliff. These things happen…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman embracing in a car. Man looks disturbed or doubtful about something the woman is saying:

You remind me
of my first four husbands!

Inks by Dick Giordano

Return of the Scarf People

No, wearing a scarf doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you…uh, want to be a cowboy. That’s it. I mean–John Wayne wore scarves…or at least bandanas. Manly bandanas! Spit-in-your-eye, tough-guy bandanas!

So there you go! If you’re not wearing a bandana chances are…you’re gay!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man and a woman--both wearing scarves--kiss.

BOTH (thinking) There! This proves I’m not gay!

Better than the Truth

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
—Mark Twain

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man talking to woman.

MAN: You’d hate the truth! So here's my best lie...