Better Than 3D! It’s Real Life!

Actually, this comic is in 3D. You just need to stare at it for a few hours (without blinking) to see it properly. Whoops! You blinked! Better start over…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A very attractive woman is talking and smiling to a wide-eyed man who's looking down towards her chest.

WOMAN: I’m better than 3d! I’m 36 Double D!

The Fast Lane to Reality TV? Unreal!

Dear Future Celebrities:

Good news. You can become famous quickly and ridiculously easy. Here’s how:

Just do something outrageous. Do it in public. Throw in a bit of stupidity and sex (or violence) and — bingo. Instant fame. Enjoy it…while it lasts!

Or you can do something worthwhile. If you get famous for that then great! If not, well…at least you won’t be a total jerk!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman talking to a young woman.

MAN: As actors we can’t get arrested! But as bank robbers we’ll
become reality TV stars...

WOMAN: If we don't get shot first!

iPad, I Guess!

So much to read–so many ways to not have time to read it!

(But, sure! I would love an iPad.)

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman smile at each other. Books in the background.

MAN: I’ve gone digital! Now I can carry around all the books I’ll never read!

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but…

–words will never hurt me. However, I’ll still sue for libel!

–oh, crap! The pain! Make it stop!

–I carry a gun! So back off, punk!

–my words are sharp and you’re a pincushion…waiting to get stuck!

–but a little, light bondage might be fun!

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Sticks and stones MAY break your bones, but…Holy
crud! Medical bills really hurt you!

Meat Defeat

Rhyme that didn’t quite make the cut for this comic:

“By the pound, I’ve overpaid! My kisses deserve a better grade…of prime rib — USDA!”

Completely Different, Early Draft of This Comic:

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman inspecting a cut of meat in her kitchen.

WOMAN (thinking): A butcher’s love is red and juicy!

WOMAN (thinking again): But I’m such a silly goosy...

WOMAN (thinking again): Settling for a man of meat..

WOMAN (thinking again): Whose beef is such a tiny treat!