I Made You A Man

Ideally, this should be read while listening to  “I Can Make You A Man” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man and a woman are smiling as they cuddle.

WOMAN: Congrats! Today you became a man!

MAN: And tomorrow I’ll be...?

WOMAN (again): Lost... without me!

Leave It To Eddie

This is going to be a lot funnier if you actually know who Eddie Haskell is–or was.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Young man talks to the mother of his date.

MAN: Gosh, Mrs. Trustbody, I can certainly see where your daughter got her gorgeous smile!

MRS. TRUSTBODY: Eddie Haskell, of all the boys who’ve lied to me...you’re my favorite!

No Maintenance–Me!

Life is so simple when you just keep to the basics. Good friends, plenty of money and a maid…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman dancing with a man.

WOMAN: I’m not high maintenance anymore! I’ve got a maid now!

Fair $ex

Believe it or not, this is loosely based on a comment I heard someone make once. No, I don’t know if the woman was kidding…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: As a young woman cries, she's comforted by her mother.

YOUNG WOMAN: Oh, mom! He’s dating a hooker!

MOTHER: It isn’t fair! He should pay you too!

The Price Of Stalks!

I guess you only taser the ones you love…

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman dreaming of a smiling man.

MAN (in dream): Ignore the restraining order! Stalk me!

WOMAN (thinking as she dreams): I’m sure he’ll say that...next time! Tasering me all those other times was just an accident!