Ideally, this should be read while listening to “I Can Make You A Man” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show…
SCENE: A man and a woman are smiling as they cuddle.
WOMAN: Congrats! Today you became a man!
MAN: And tomorrow I’ll be...?
WOMAN (again): Lost... without me!
This is going to be a lot funnier if you actually know who Eddie Haskell is–or was.
SCENE: Young man talks to the mother of his date.
MAN: Gosh, Mrs. Trustbody, I can certainly see where your daughter got her gorgeous smile!
MRS. TRUSTBODY: Eddie Haskell, of all the boys who’ve lied to me...you’re my favorite!
Life is so simple when you just keep to the basics. Good friends, plenty of money and a maid…
SCENE: Woman dancing with a man.
WOMAN: I’m not high maintenance anymore! I’ve got a maid now!
Believe it or not, this is loosely based on a comment I heard someone make once. No, I don’t know if the woman was kidding…
SCENE: As a young woman cries, she's comforted by her mother.
YOUNG WOMAN: Oh, mom! He’s dating a hooker!
MOTHER: It isn’t fair! He should pay you too!
I guess you only taser the ones you love…
SCENE: Woman dreaming of a smiling man.
MAN (in dream): Ignore the restraining order! Stalk me!
WOMAN (thinking as she dreams): I’m sure he’ll say that...next time! Tasering me all those other times was just an accident!