Roses Make Me Swoon, But…

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “A Bouquet of Roses” in FIRST KISS #20, 1961.

Transcript:

SCENE: A woman with a bouquet of roses.

WOMAN: Valentine, Roses make me swoon! But diamonds make me so weak…I can’t get out of bed!

1961 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira

DJP.lk116 FK20.1.6.1

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman with a bouquet of roses.

WOMAN: Valentine, Roses make me swoon! But diamonds make me so weak…I can’t get out of bed!

1961 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira

Heart too? Please!

Happy Valentine’s Day! And a big, heartfelt thanks to my pal Mike Pascale for today’s lustful, love comic.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story "Dream Along with Me" in FIRST KISS #32, 1963.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Dream Along with Me” in FIRST KISS #32, 1963. Click image to enlarge.

 
Transcript:

WOMAN: Ohh! I love a man with a big heart on!

1963 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman
Sweet Valentine Lovin’ & Special Effects: Mike Pascale

32.1.1.1

↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Ohh! I love a man with a big heart on!

1963 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman
Sweet Valentine Lovin’ & Special Effects: Mike Pascale

32.1.1.1

Barf Bag Valentine, Part 3

This is the final page of a three-page story—originally called “I Was a Failure as a Woman”—that I did for Comics Buyer’s Guide (CBG) way back in 2000.

The reference to “fabulous Iola” in panel #3 was an in-joke because CBG was published in Iola, Wisconsin. While I’ve never been there, my impression was that Iola was so small (and rural) that the publishing house was the main business in town.

Click image to enlarge. Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story "Love Among the Stars" in FIRST KISS #15, 1960.

Click image to enlarge. Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story “Love Among the Stars” in FIRST KISS #15, 1960.

 
Transcript:

PANEL 1, SCENE: Jack and Jill kiss as a female passenger asks them for a barf bag.

CAPTION: It was the perfect kiss! The perfect man! And in that perfect moment of passion nothing else in the universe mattered!

PASSENGER: Can I have my barf bag now?

PANEL 2, SCENE:

JACK: That kiss! I-I-I’ve never felt like this before!

JILL: That’s the Brussels sprouts, silly!

PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are kissing outside.

CAPTION: “After our flight landed in fabulous Iola, the night was ours! We did everything…and we went everywhere! The grain silos! The pig farms! And, best of all…the magical moonlight bridge over the sewage plant!”

JACK (thinking): I think I stepped in something!

JILL (thinking): I can’t breathe!

PANEL 4, SCENE: Jack and Jill are still outside and are going for a walk.

JACK: It’s settled then! We’ll get married and live happily ever after…as long as my parents approve of you!

PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill are talking to Jack’s father.

JACK: Dad, Jill’s going to quit her job and join the family business after the wedding!

JILL: Hot dog! At last…I’ll be in real high society! No more barf bags for me!

PANEL 6, SCENE: Jill and Jack get married.

CAPTION #1: “Sure, I still do some cooking! But hardly anyone ever does…or even complains about it these days!”

CAPTION #2: “You see, Jack’s family caters conventions…for comic book fans! And those people will eat anything!

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15.2.3

↓ Transcript
PANEL 1, SCENE: Jack and Jill kiss as a female passenger asks them for a barf bag.

CAPTION: It was the perfect kiss! The perfect man! And in that perfect moment of passion nothing else in the universe mattered!

PASSENGER: Can I have my barf bag now?


PANEL 2, SCENE:

JACK: That kiss! I-I-I've never felt like this before!

JILL: That's the Brussels sprouts, silly!

PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are kissing outside.

CAPTION: "After our flight landed in fabulous Iola, the night was ours! We did everything...and we went everywhere! The grain silos! The pig farms! And, best of all...the magical moonlight bridge over the sewage plant!"

JACK (thinking): I think I stepped in something!

JILL (thinking): <Gasp!> I can't breathe!

PANEL 4, SCENE: Jack and Jill are still outside and are going for a walk.

JACK: It's settled then! We'll get married and live happily ever after...as long as my parents approve of you!

PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill are talking to Jack's father.

JACK: Dad, Jill's going to quit her job and join the family business after the wedding!

JILL: Hot dog! At last...I'll be in real high society! No more barf bags for me!

PANEL 6, SCENE: Jill and Jack get married.

CAPTION #1: "Sure, I still do some cooking! But hardly anyone ever does...or even complains about it these days!"

CAPTION #2: "You see, Jack's family caters conventions...for comic book fans! And those people will eat anything!

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas &amp; Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15.2.3

Barf Bag Valentine, Part 2

Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story "Love Among the Stars" in FIRST KISS #15, 1960. Click image to enlarge.

Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story “Love Among the Stars” in FIRST KISS #15, 1960. Click image to enlarge.

 
Transcript:

PANEL 1, SCENE: Flight Attendant Jill and Captain Jack are talking inside the plane.

CAPTION: Jack was persistent, though! During the flight, he rushed out of the cockpit and cornered me…at a crucial moment!

JILL: But…people are eating! I’ve got to hand out the barf bags before it’s too late!

JACK: Let ’em use their carry on bags!

PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are arguing as a passenger looks on.

JACK: I’ve got to know now! Will you be my Valentine?

JILL: Wake up and smell the coffee, Fly Boy! I can’t be anyone’s Valentine—not the way I cook!

PANEL 3, SCENE: Passenger asks Jill something.

PASSENGER: Stewardess, how about a gin and tonic?

JILL: Sure, I could use a drink!

PANEL 4, SCENE: Jill and Jack are talking again.

CAPTION: “I was sure Jack had given up, but later in the flight I learned how wrong I was!”

JILL: Y-y-you ate one of the meals I served? On purpose?

JACK: I love you, Jill! To prove it…I even had a second helping!

PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill talk.

JILL: Oh, Jack! Even the…Brussels sprouts?

JACK: Sure! Can’t you tell?

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15.2.2

↓ Transcript
PANEL 1, SCENE: Flight Attendant Jill and Captain Jack are talking inside the plane.

CAPTION: Jack was persistent, though! During the flight, he rushed out of the cockpit and cornered me...at a crucial moment!

JILL: But...people are eating! I've got to hand out the barf bags before it's too late!

JACK: Let 'em use their carry on bags!

PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are arguing as a passenger looks on.

JACK: I've got to know now! Will you be my Valentine?

JILL: Wake up and smell the coffee, Fly Boy! I can't be anyone's Valentine---not the way I cook!

PANEL 3, SCENE: Passenger asks Jill something.

PASSENGER: Stewardess, how about a gin and tonic?

JILL: Sure, I could use a drink!

PANEL 4, SCENE: Jill and Jack are talking again.

CAPTION: "I was sure Jack had given up, but later in the flight I learned how wrong I was!"

JILL: Y-y-you ate one of the meals I served? On purpose?

JACK: I love you, Jill! To prove it...I even had a second helping!

PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill talk.

JILL: Oh, Jack! Even the...Brussels sprouts?

JACK: Sure! <Burp!> Can't you tell?

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15.2.2

Barf Bag Valentine, Part 1

Click image to enlarge. Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story "Love Among the Stars" in FIRST KISS #15, 1960.

Click image to enlarge. Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from the story “Love Among the Stars” in FIRST KISS #15, 1960.

This story first appeared in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1371, the 2000 Valentine’s Day edition. And, quite frankly, it revolutionized Last Kiss. Without it, I doubt there’d still be a Last Kiss today.

Last Kiss debuted in 1996 in the pages of Comics Buyer’s Guide. It ran haphazardly as an occasional feature using romance comic book covers that I rewrote—allegedly to make them funnier than the originals.

These faux covers ran through 1998. Then I got busy and moved on to other things—forever, I thought.

But in the summer of 1999, I ran into CBG editor John Jackson Miller and—to my surprise—found myself asking if he’d like a Last Kiss feature for the paper’s next Valentine’s Day issue. John said, “Yes.” So I whipped up this story. And Last Kiss was back in business.

The story along with the cover I created were so well-received that Last Kiss was offered a spot as a regular multi-panel feature…which I continued doing until CBG folded in 2013. But by then, Last Kiss had found a new and much bigger audience here and on other sites such as GoComics.

 

 

 
Transcript:

PAGE 1, PANEL 1, SCENE: A male pilot and a female flight attendant are talking outside a commercial jet.

TITLE: I WAS a Barf Bag Valentine

CAPTAIN JACK: Give up, Jill! It’s Valentine’s Day! And I’m so handsome I even turn myself on! Do yourself a favor…and kiss me!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Jack, how sweet! I don’t know what to say except…

PAGE 1, PANEL 2, SCENE: Jill and Jack continue talking.

JILL: I’d rather run naked…covered in honey…through a swarm of bees.

JACK: Gosh! Who wouldn’t? Maybe we can go together sometime!

PAGE 1, PANEL 3, SCENE: Jill is alone.

CAPTION: “Then he handed me a Valentine…the big lug! I trembled as I read the card, but I refused to fall in love again! I couldn’t take the chance!”

JILL: Men are all alike! Sooner or later…Jack would want more than just wild passion and cheap thrills! He’d expect me to…cook for him!

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15_11Short & FK15.2.1

↓ Transcript
PAGE 1, PANEL 1, SCENE: A male pilot and a female flight attendant are talking outside a commercial jet.

TITLE: I WAS a Barf Bag Valentine

CAPTAIN JACK: Give up, Jill! It's Valentine's Day! And I'm so handsome I even turn myself on! Do yourself a favor...and kiss me!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Jack, how sweet! I don't know what to say except...

PAGE 1, PANEL 2, SCENE: Jill and Jack continue talking.

JILL: I'd rather run naked...covered in honey...through a swarm of bees.

JACK: Gosh! Who wouldn't? Maybe we can go together sometime!

PAGE 1, PANEL 3, SCENE: Jill is alone.

CAPTION: "Then he handed me a Valentine...the big lug! I trembled as I read the card, but I refused to fall in love again! I couldn't take the chance!"

JILL: Men are all alike! Sooner or later...Jack would want more than just wild passion and cheap thrills! He'd expect me to...cook for him!

1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig

FK15_11Short & FK15.2.1