Too Much Love?

Too Much Love?

Art unattributed but probably by Vince Colletta. From the story “You Can Never Tell” in First Kiss #10, Sept. 1959. Click image to see much larger version.

 

Transcript:

CAPTION: “I was the most wonderful wife any man’s ever had…for the first 30 minutes of our honeymoon! But then the truth struck me hard…right between my perfectly plucked eyebrows! This marriage was a mistake!”

SCENE: Man and woman standing on a dock by a body of water.

MAN: It’s not my fault, Selina! The sex manual was upside down! I’m almost sure of it!

WOMAN: it’s no use,
MAN: As a lover, you’re a complete pussy! And not the good kind…with hair balls!

CAPTION: “Poor Bruce! He tried to stop me! But surely he’ll forgive me someday…if he ever manages to untie himself! I packed–praying my true love would still be at home in our bed…licking himself!”

PANEL 2, SCENE: Woman in a room crying.

WOMAN: Puddles Be brave! Mummy’s flying home! And I’m bringing a suitcase full of catnip!

CAPTION: Next week: “The Litter Box of Doom!”

CAPTION: 1959 Art: Vince Colletta? Color: John Lustig ©2019 Last Kiss Inc

CAPTION: The Woman Who Loved Cats…Too Much!

Art Code: Art Code: FK10 1.2A 10.1.2.3 & 10.1.2.6

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: “I was the most wonderful wife any man’s ever had...for the first 30 minutes of our honeymoon! But then the truth struck me hard...right between my perfectly plucked eyebrows! This marriage was a mistake!"

SCENE: Man and woman standing on a dock by a body of water.

MAN: It's not my fault, Selina! The sex manual was upside down! I'm almost sure of it!

WOMAN: it's no use,
MAN: As a lover, you’re a complete pussy! And not the good kind...with hair balls!

CAPTION: “Poor Bruce! He tried to stop me! But surely he'll forgive me someday...if he ever manages to untie himself! I packed--praying my true love would still be at home in our bed...licking himself!”

PANEL 2, SCENE: Woman in a room crying.

WOMAN: Puddles Be brave! Mummy’s flying home! And I'm bringing a suitcase full of catnip!

CAPTION: Next week: "The Litter Box of Doom!"

CAPTION: 1959 Art: Vince Colletta? Color: John Lustig ©2019 Last Kiss Inc

CAPTION: The Woman Who Loved Cats...Too Much!

Art Code: FK10 1.2A 10.1.2.3 & 10.1.2.6


Honeymoon for Three

Honeymoon for Three

There are actually two versions of the original art. Here’s the art is as it appeared on the splash page of “The End of Summer” in First Kiss #34 (drawn by the Vince Colletta Studio):

Click image to enlarge.

And here it is—slightly repositioned and reworked by Dick Giordano—for use on the issue’s cover:

Click image to enlarge.

To save time—and especially money—Charlton Comics often used elements of the interior art for its covers.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman tearfully watches as her husband and her mom walk on the back with their arms around each other.

WOMAN (thinking): Maybe taking mom on our honeymoon was a mistake!

Art: Vince Colletta Studio & Dick Giordano
Color: Allen Freeman

Honeymoon with a Big Family

Honeymoon with a Big Family

The lovely art for this gag came to me courtesy of the late Dick Giordano. In 2001, Dick loaned me a large stack of his Charlton romance art so that I could scan it for Last Kiss.

Charlton probably paid less than any of the other comic publishers. But, oh man…looking at Dick’s work, you’d think it was paying him with trucks full of gold bullion. Dick’s covers were gorgeous.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: On board a ship. A ship's officer embraces a woman in the background. In the foreground, looking on sadly, is a woman.

WOMAN IN FOREGROUND (thinking) I want to believe him, but...how many long-lost sisters can he have on one cruise?

Art by Dick Giordano

Honeymoon Swoon! So Soon?

Honeymoon Swoon! So Soon?

Last Kiss Honeymoon Disaster Insurance now available!

If all of your unrealistic dreams don’t come true (Finally an orgasm!), we’ll send you a replacement spouse and as many Mai Tais (paper umbrellas extra) as you can drink before passing out.

Be safe! Send a bucket of money (No pennies!) to

Last Kiss Department of Broken Dreams

P.O. Box 0000 1/2

Big Scam, OK 66666

↓ Transcript
MAN: Wow! This is a first! None of my other wives wanted a divorce...until after our honeymoon!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Honeymoon for Two?

Honeymoon for Two?

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man and a woman are rushing out of a building.

MAN: The Honeymoon Hotel’s having a two-for-one night!

WOMAN: Great! I'll bring a friend!

Art: Art Cappello & Dick Giordano