Valentine Sex?

Valentine Sex?

Have a mind-blowingly great Valentine’s Day!

Script: Jerry Siegel   Pencils: Charles Nicholas   Inks: Jon D’Agostino? From the story “Crime That Didn’t Occur!” in ZAZA THE MYSTIC #10, 1956.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman fortune teller who looks vaguely like a Gypsy.

WOMAN: I predict mind-blowing sex on Valentine’s Day! Or better yet...chocolate!

1956 Pencils: Charles Nicholas Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira

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Brussels Sprouts or…Worse?

Brussels Sprouts or…Worse?

Art by Bill Ward from the story “I Danced with Heartbreak” in DIARY LOVES #9, 1951. Click image to enlarge.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman smoking cigarette in front of he Eiffel Tower.

WOMAN: I’m an acquired taste! Like Brussels sprouts! Or cyanide!

1951 Art: Bill Ward Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Background Photo: Sarah Neighbour

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Reindeer Mixup

Reindeer Mixup

Many thanks to my pal Mike Pascale for today’s “tasteful” gag!

1962 artist unknown. From the story “The Love that Failed” in FIRST KISS #25.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Elf (or man made up as one) talks to woman dressed as Mrs. Claus who is holding her head in her hand in despair.

ELF: You mean I was supposed to feed the reindeer...and cook the turkey?

1962 Artist Unknown Holiday Magic & Elfish Wit: Mike Pascale

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I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth Is Full

I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth Is Full

Artist unknown. From the story "Infatuation" from FIRST KISS #4, 1958.

Artist unknown. From the story “Infatuation” from FIRST KISS #4, 1958.

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: It’s the perfect diet! Eat everything you want! Never exercise! And feel great! Is it a scam? Probably. But to find out for sure, mail me a blank check and I’ll send you my new book…I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth’s Full!

PANEL #1 SCENE: Man and woman sitting in a restaurant eating and drinking.

MAN: You’re ordering another bowl of ice cream? But…you’ve already eaten six!

WOMAN: Seven! But... so what? According to John Lustig’s book, calories don’t matter!

PANEL #2 SCENE: Closeup of the woman talking.

WOMAN: He’s shown me the truth about the inner, thinner me! Fat is a state of mind! And thanks to Lustig, I’ve moved across the border to...a new state of denial and double-fudge sundaes!

CAPTION: Remember: You’re not fat…as long as you can lie to yourself!

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Onion Ring or Diamond Ring?

Onion Ring or Diamond Ring?

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story "Playin' It Cool" in FIRST KISS #12, 1960.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Playin’ It Cool” in FIRST KISS #12, 1960.

↓ Transcript
PANEL #1
SCENE: Young man and woman in car outside a hot dog stand.
WOMAN: Another cheap date? Great! the more you save the sooner you can buy me...An engagement ring!

PANEL #2:
SCENE: Woman holds out here ring finger.
MAN: Babe, right now, I can’t even afford onion rings!


PANEL #3:
SCENE: Man chomps on a hot dog as the woman looks on.

MAN: But someday I’ll buy ya’ a diamond ring as big as your appetite! And we’ll be eatin’ in joints so fancy <Burp!> that I’ll haveta apologize when I fart!

WOMAN: Hot dog!

1960 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman

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