Valentine Sex?

Valentine Sex?

Have a mind-blowingly great Valentine’s Day!

Script: Jerry Siegel   Pencils: Charles Nicholas   Inks: Jon D’Agostino? From the story “Crime That Didn’t Occur!” in ZAZA THE MYSTIC #10, 1956.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman fortune teller who looks vaguely like a Gypsy.

WOMAN: I predict mind-blowing sex on Valentine’s Day! Or better yet...chocolate!

1956 Pencils: Charles Nicholas Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira


Brussels Sprouts or…Worse?

Brussels Sprouts or…Worse?

Art by Bill Ward from the story “I Danced with Heartbreak” in DIARY LOVES #9, 1951. Click image to enlarge.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman smoking cigarette in front of he Eiffel Tower.

WOMAN: I’m an acquired taste! Like Brussels sprouts! Or cyanide!

1951 Art: Bill Ward Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Background Photo: Sarah Neighbour


Reindeer Mixup

Reindeer Mixup

Many thanks to my pal Mike Pascale for today’s “tasteful” gag!

1962 artist unknown. From the story “The Love that Failed” in FIRST KISS #25.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Elf (or man made up as one) talks to woman dressed as Mrs. Claus who is holding her head in her hand in despair.

ELF: You mean I was supposed to feed the reindeer...and cook the turkey?

1962 Artist Unknown Holiday Magic & Elfish Wit: Mike Pascale

I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth Is Full

I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth Is Full

Artist unknown. From the story "Infatuation" from FIRST KISS #4, 1958.

Artist unknown. From the story “Infatuation” from FIRST KISS #4, 1958.

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: It’s the perfect diet! Eat everything you want! Never exercise! And feel great! Is it a scam? Probably. But to find out for sure, mail me a blank check and I’ll send you my new book…I Can’t Count Calories When My Mouth’s Full!

PANEL #1 SCENE: Man and woman sitting in a restaurant eating and drinking.

MAN: You’re ordering another bowl of ice cream? But…you’ve already eaten six!

WOMAN: Seven! But... so what? According to John Lustig’s book, calories don’t matter!

PANEL #2 SCENE: Closeup of the woman talking.

WOMAN: He’s shown me the truth about the inner, thinner me! Fat is a state of mind! And thanks to Lustig, I’ve moved across the border to...a new state of denial and double-fudge sundaes!

CAPTION: Remember: You’re not fat…as long as you can lie to yourself!

Onion Ring or Diamond Ring?

Onion Ring or Diamond Ring?

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story "Playin' It Cool" in FIRST KISS #12, 1960.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Playin’ It Cool” in FIRST KISS #12, 1960.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Young man and woman in car outside a hot dog stand.
WOMAN: Another cheap date? Great! the more you save the sooner you can buy me...An engagement ring!

SCENE: Woman holds out here ring finger.
MAN: Babe, right now, I can’t even afford onion rings!

SCENE: Man chomps on a hot dog as the woman looks on.

MAN: But someday I’ll buy ya’ a diamond ring as big as your appetite! And we’ll be eatin’ in joints so fancy <Burp!> that I’ll haveta apologize when I fart!

WOMAN: Hot dog!

1960 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman