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   fine jams and jellies since 1982 on May 2, 2019 at 10:31 pm

   What he’s thinking: “Well. I set one bag down. Now I gotta drop this other one.”
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   What she’s thinking: “I can’t wait to exhale! What the hell was I thinking with this bodice?! I can feel my kidneys rubbing up and down against my spine! Wait. That’s not my spine…Oh come on Bill! Can’t you wait thirty minutes?!!”
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   In this month’s exciting issue of Brides In Love:

   …Emily had seen his handsome face and been swept off her feet! Now she was Mrs. Maurice B. Luscious. Sure he has a better skin care regiment than she does. And he knows the difference between mauve and lavender. But during their honeymoon at the Bette Midler file festival, Emily begins to suspect…’I WAS A TEENAGE BEARD!’

   …Shannon had given up on happiness and settled in to her job as a Cracker Barrel greeter when Tim walked in! He had a job and most of his teeth! Now her days of compromising love are quickly coming to a middle! ‘THE MAN I SETTLED FOR”!

   …He’s a cannibal obsessed with her soft, white flesh! She’s buried eight husbands and the police want to question her about two more who are missing! It’s guaranteed to be ‘ONE HELL OF A HONEYMOON!’

   …She wore white! But she didn’t mean it! She was playing ‘BAIT AND SWITCH!’ with love!

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