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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young couple are kissing on a porch. Two identical books are on the porch steps.

HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?

TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:

BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!

TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!

TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!

MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!

WOMAN: I bought three!