Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Syd Shores from the story “The Fatal Note” in Nightmare #1, 1952.
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man sweats with nervous fear as the woman he's holding talks.
WOMAN: My New Year’s resolution is to get pregnant! And married! Not necessarily in that order, of course!
1952 Art: Syd Shores Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Heartbreaker & Resolutions Breaker: John Lustig
DJP.lk261
WOMAN: My New Year’s resolution is to get pregnant! And married! Not necessarily in that order, of course!
1952 Art: Syd Shores Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Heartbreaker & Resolutions Breaker: John Lustig
DJP.lk261
“That’s the truth darling?”
“Yes!..
…I swear by the beady sweat on my greasy forehead, it’s nothing but the truth. And if you can’t trust beady sweat on a greasy forehead, what can you trust?”
…I mean why would I lie about having sex with your father? He’s not all that great in bed…is what I hear.”
…You must have caught that chlamydia from the toilet in the ladies room.”
…I absolutely think the sequel to “Avatar” was nothing but a good idea. I’m just afraid to watch it since it’s probably sooooo good, that it will ruin all other movies for me forever. Really.”
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“That’s the truth darling?”
“Yes!…Wait! Unless I’m supposed to answer “no” here. Am I supposed to answer “no” here?”
“Well how would I know darling? I mean, you just need to tell me the truth.”
“Is that the “truth” truth? Or the what-I-think-you-wanna-hear truth?”
“Why is there a difference?”
“Oh there never is! Honestly! It’s just sometimes guys think ladies ask what sounds like an open ended question, but they really aren’t open ended questions. They’re more like bear traps, primed and hidden under the welcome mat on the front door step, just waiting to snap shut on your ankle. So the guy might, sometimes, answer in a manner that they think will get them in the least amount of trouble. Not that that’s ever a concern in our loving, trusting relationship.”
“Can you give me an example of such a question?”
“Not if I want to avoid an argument.”
“Oh I think it’s much too late for that.”
“Damn. You see. This is why I’m never honest.”
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Happy New Year Ya’ll. Let’s make 2023 the Year of Snark.
Fun, funny stuff. Thanks, Jams, and Happy, Snarky New Year!
Oh, yes!! I’m all for the snark!!
Snarktastic! Snark-a-riffic!!
Coming to the SyFy channel in 2023: “Snarknado!”