Art by Vince Colletta Studio from "His Future Bride" in BRIDES IN LOVE #10, 1958.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from “His Future Bride” in BRIDES IN LOVE #10, 1958.

So, why does he need his secretary to stay?

—To make him a real man. (Some assembly required.)
—To organize and prioritize his porn collection.
—To sharpen his pencil. (He only has one.)

No, that can’t be right.

So, I’m taking suggestions. (And, let’s eliminate the obvious. “Dick-tation” doesn’t count.) The funniest, most original answer wins…my gratitude and the admiration of thousands!

Submit your ideas in the comments below.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.