Contest: He Needs Her to…

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from "His Future Bride" in BRIDES IN LOVE #10, 1958.

Art by Vince Colletta Studio from “His Future Bride” in BRIDES IN LOVE #10, 1958.

So, why does he need his secretary to stay?

—To make him a real man. (Some assembly required.)
—To organize and prioritize his porn collection.
—To sharpen his pencil. (He only has one.)

No, that can’t be right.

So, I’m taking suggestions. (And, let’s eliminate the obvious. “Dick-tation” doesn’t count.) The funniest, most original answer wins…my gratitude and the admiration of thousands!

Submit your ideas in the comments below.

Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.




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  1. to test out the new knee-pads while he shows her his briefs

  2. She needs to put his affairs in order

  3. I can’t remember if that means Mickey’s big hand or little hand is on the 8.

  4. You said, “Wow! That’s just fine, nothing’s wrong, I should just go ahead — whatever — everything is Okay…” So I did…. so why are you leaving?

  5. If she just up and quits like that, his wife might get suspicious.

  6. He needs her to…
    Screen his calls and do the real work while he takes a nap.

  7. He needs her to turn on his duplicating machine.

  8. The house? Is that the one with the blue light out the front?

  9. There are several I like here, but I’ve got to go with Robert Hoffman’s very funny gag.. (I’m going to admit that Bob is a friend, but then so are some of the other folks who submitted.) Congrats, Bob!


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