Just Inject the Caffeine Directly into My Veins

Living in Seattle, I should be ashamed of this. But here’s the shocking, tabloid-worthy truth: I don’t drink coffee.

Never have. And it’s too bad. ‘Cause I hear wonderful things about the power of Demon Caffeine.

I’m not one of those people who spring out of bed at the break of day–a song on my lips–ready to make the world a better place.

If I drank coffee, though, maybe I’d be…perky. Maybe I’d write faster. Maybe I’d be a better person. Maybe I’d have even have come up with a clever way to end this.

But I don’t drink coffee. So I didn’t.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman with her head down, her eyes closed and her hand to her brow.

WOMAN: Don’t say anything! Just...bring me coffee!